UPDATE
November 30, 2007
6:30 PM
I want to let all of you know that are prayers have been answered beyond comprehension. Jack came through the surgery with flying colors. Not only did they remove the dead tissue, but 99.9% of the tumor tissue was also dead. The tumor, needless to say, had not progressed but had caused massive swelling due to the dead tissue.
Dr. Cosgrove said that he had a great deal of difficulty finding any live tumor tissue for the tissue test that I described this morning. He also said that it will be days to weeks before we know if any of the motor function will return. What he does feel confident about is that Jack will be able to come off of the steroids in several days. After Jack recovers from this part of his treatment, he will be moved back to NE Rehabilitation hospital for a few weeks.
Jack’s sister, Myra, a former student, Rich Shantross (surprised us by showing up at the hospital – he took a day off work to provide us with support), and I spent a couple of hours with Jack this morning and walked with him to surgery. The Lord has truly carried us to the heights today and we are most thankful. The legions of prayers have been answered. We will continue to wait on the Lord as the next phase of this journey unfolds. My birthday is next week and this gift is the best one that I could ever imagine.
We continue to desire your prayers, love, and support. We are all looking forward to a restful night’s sleep.
Carolyn
Friday, November 30, 2007
Update November 30, 2007
UPDATE
November 30, 2007
This week has again challenged us with the unexpected. Jack’s left leg has been swelling over several days. Each evening both of his legs are encased in a mechanism that inflates and deflates to enhance the circulation is his legs. There is always a concern for the occurrence of blood clots when a person is less mobile than they had been previously coupled with chemotherapy side effects. As his leg began to remain swollen and even worsen, the Dr. decided to do an ultrasound test on him last Tuesday afternoon. What they discovered was that he has 2 large blood clots now – a likely side effect of the chemotherapy he was on during September and October. One of the clots is in his right groin while the other one is behind his left knee. The concern is that as the body tries to absorb these clots that pieces will break off and migrate to his lungs and heart. Unfortunately, Jack is not a candidate for blood thinners. Tumors are huge blood banks. If Jack was given blood thinners, he would potentially have a brain hemorrhage at the tumor site. Thanks to modern medicine, the Doctors went to plan B. Jack was taken back to Lahey Clinic emergency room on Tuesday evening for Plan B. Plan B is a filter that looks like an umbrella that was placed in the large groin vein. If the clots try to migrate, the filter prevents large pieces from going to the lungs and heart.
Here comes the fun part of the evening – we can always find humor and joy in the events. Picture Jack in this high tech emergency room with various people coming and going doing their jobs. The doctor comes in and describes in detail what the procedure is going to be and how it works. Jack is flat on his back, paralyzed on his left side, special stockings to improve the circulation, Jonathan and me at his side – as the doctor describes the filter, Jack wants to know the pore size of the filter. Only Jack!!!! That engineering mind has not stopped yet. The evening only gets more interesting. A young Dr. walks in the room and says – hello Professor Howard. MIT students always refer to faculty as Prof. We immediately have a clue. Apparently, this student thought Jack was a math professor at MIT (there used to be another Jack Howard in the math department at MIT). This Dr. decided to google Jack; consequently, Jack was discovered. The procedure finally occurred in the middle of the night since the team that specializes in this procedure had gone home for a quiet evening. Jack was conscious throughout the procedure. Apparently, there was much discussion about the world’s energy crisis with this team consulting with Jack during this surgery. Who would have guessed that maybe our energy crisis might be solved in an emergency surgery room! Thankfully, the procedure was successful and we all went home to sleep for a short winter’s night.
Jack was admitted that evening to Lahey Clinic since the doctors and Jack had decided that he would have the brain surgery. There are several hopes for the surgery. One of the big hopes is to maybe restore the use of Jack’s left leg, extend his life for some months, and remove the need for steroids that have many negative side effects. Initially, surgery was not an option due to the high risk for paralysis. We have the paralysis, so we do not have that as a concern. Jack has another brain image (MRI) this morning followed by surgery at 1:00 PM today.
Jack had a very comfortable day yesterday. Two more “southern” friends came in to visit him. Victor Vejins, Nano-C’s CEO – I think Viktor and his family must live in Southwest West Concord, MA, and Jack’s first office mate at MIT last century, Bill Dalzell, who definitely qualifies as a Southerner since he lives in Marshfield, MA on the deep south side of Boston. Jonathan spent time with him during his lunch. Jonathan called to say he was off to get Jack more coffee – Jack’s favorite drink of choice.
I spent time with Jack last evening. It was a time of reflection on our Lord and his tender mercies toward us over the many years that we have shared. We discussed our abundance in the ways that we have been blessed with our families and friends that are far and wide. We are truly resting in the shadow of the wings of our Lord, our only place of refuge from the journey of our lives and especially the storm of this disease.
Another amazing event that has happened is that Megan’s (Jonathan’s wife) family have some dear friends in Orange County, CA. This family escaped the Serbian war a few years ago. Megan’s Mom, Margaret met them on the plane as they were traveling to the US. Margaret is a flight attendant and befriended them. They knew no one. The two families have become very close friends. We have had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful family. The woman works in a lab that tests cancer tissues to determine the most effective treatment for the cancer. She has offered and is sending via overnight the kit that is used to collect cancer tissue. Jack’s tumor tissue will be exposed to many forms of chemotherapy in her lab for potential treatment after surgery. Thank you Megan for orchestrating all of this work.
When an experience such as the one we are going through happens, it is truly an awesome thing to see how the Lord has woven the fabric of our lives. It is also wonderful to see the far reach of so many people that desire to help in so many ways. We deeply express our gratitude to all of you. I told Viktor this week that I felt like I was training for a marathon. His response to me was that I am in the marathon. I agreed with him. Unfortunately, there is no training as we know training for this marathon. By God’s grace, our strength is supplied sufficiently moment by moment.
I will close with the verses that I shared with Jack last evening. Also, I will be updating the blog throughout the weekend. Jack's sister, Myra, is arriving this morning to be with us over the next several days. We continue to covet and need your prayers.
Excerpts from Psalm 16
V1. “Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
V7. “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me: even at night my heart instructs me.
V8. “I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
V9. “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure”
V11. “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
Blessings,
Carolyn and family
November 30, 2007
This week has again challenged us with the unexpected. Jack’s left leg has been swelling over several days. Each evening both of his legs are encased in a mechanism that inflates and deflates to enhance the circulation is his legs. There is always a concern for the occurrence of blood clots when a person is less mobile than they had been previously coupled with chemotherapy side effects. As his leg began to remain swollen and even worsen, the Dr. decided to do an ultrasound test on him last Tuesday afternoon. What they discovered was that he has 2 large blood clots now – a likely side effect of the chemotherapy he was on during September and October. One of the clots is in his right groin while the other one is behind his left knee. The concern is that as the body tries to absorb these clots that pieces will break off and migrate to his lungs and heart. Unfortunately, Jack is not a candidate for blood thinners. Tumors are huge blood banks. If Jack was given blood thinners, he would potentially have a brain hemorrhage at the tumor site. Thanks to modern medicine, the Doctors went to plan B. Jack was taken back to Lahey Clinic emergency room on Tuesday evening for Plan B. Plan B is a filter that looks like an umbrella that was placed in the large groin vein. If the clots try to migrate, the filter prevents large pieces from going to the lungs and heart.
Here comes the fun part of the evening – we can always find humor and joy in the events. Picture Jack in this high tech emergency room with various people coming and going doing their jobs. The doctor comes in and describes in detail what the procedure is going to be and how it works. Jack is flat on his back, paralyzed on his left side, special stockings to improve the circulation, Jonathan and me at his side – as the doctor describes the filter, Jack wants to know the pore size of the filter. Only Jack!!!! That engineering mind has not stopped yet. The evening only gets more interesting. A young Dr. walks in the room and says – hello Professor Howard. MIT students always refer to faculty as Prof. We immediately have a clue. Apparently, this student thought Jack was a math professor at MIT (there used to be another Jack Howard in the math department at MIT). This Dr. decided to google Jack; consequently, Jack was discovered. The procedure finally occurred in the middle of the night since the team that specializes in this procedure had gone home for a quiet evening. Jack was conscious throughout the procedure. Apparently, there was much discussion about the world’s energy crisis with this team consulting with Jack during this surgery. Who would have guessed that maybe our energy crisis might be solved in an emergency surgery room! Thankfully, the procedure was successful and we all went home to sleep for a short winter’s night.
Jack was admitted that evening to Lahey Clinic since the doctors and Jack had decided that he would have the brain surgery. There are several hopes for the surgery. One of the big hopes is to maybe restore the use of Jack’s left leg, extend his life for some months, and remove the need for steroids that have many negative side effects. Initially, surgery was not an option due to the high risk for paralysis. We have the paralysis, so we do not have that as a concern. Jack has another brain image (MRI) this morning followed by surgery at 1:00 PM today.
Jack had a very comfortable day yesterday. Two more “southern” friends came in to visit him. Victor Vejins, Nano-C’s CEO – I think Viktor and his family must live in Southwest West Concord, MA, and Jack’s first office mate at MIT last century, Bill Dalzell, who definitely qualifies as a Southerner since he lives in Marshfield, MA on the deep south side of Boston. Jonathan spent time with him during his lunch. Jonathan called to say he was off to get Jack more coffee – Jack’s favorite drink of choice.
I spent time with Jack last evening. It was a time of reflection on our Lord and his tender mercies toward us over the many years that we have shared. We discussed our abundance in the ways that we have been blessed with our families and friends that are far and wide. We are truly resting in the shadow of the wings of our Lord, our only place of refuge from the journey of our lives and especially the storm of this disease.
Another amazing event that has happened is that Megan’s (Jonathan’s wife) family have some dear friends in Orange County, CA. This family escaped the Serbian war a few years ago. Megan’s Mom, Margaret met them on the plane as they were traveling to the US. Margaret is a flight attendant and befriended them. They knew no one. The two families have become very close friends. We have had the pleasure of meeting this wonderful family. The woman works in a lab that tests cancer tissues to determine the most effective treatment for the cancer. She has offered and is sending via overnight the kit that is used to collect cancer tissue. Jack’s tumor tissue will be exposed to many forms of chemotherapy in her lab for potential treatment after surgery. Thank you Megan for orchestrating all of this work.
When an experience such as the one we are going through happens, it is truly an awesome thing to see how the Lord has woven the fabric of our lives. It is also wonderful to see the far reach of so many people that desire to help in so many ways. We deeply express our gratitude to all of you. I told Viktor this week that I felt like I was training for a marathon. His response to me was that I am in the marathon. I agreed with him. Unfortunately, there is no training as we know training for this marathon. By God’s grace, our strength is supplied sufficiently moment by moment.
I will close with the verses that I shared with Jack last evening. Also, I will be updating the blog throughout the weekend. Jack's sister, Myra, is arriving this morning to be with us over the next several days. We continue to covet and need your prayers.
Excerpts from Psalm 16
V1. “Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge.
V7. “I will praise the Lord, who counsels me: even at night my heart instructs me.
V8. “I have set the Lord always before me. Because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.
V9. “Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure”
V11. “You have made known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.”
Blessings,
Carolyn and family
Yiannis Levendis Letter - Northeastern Professor
Dear Jack,
It has been sometimes that I have not seen you. In the meantime, I have been receiving news about your medical condition from Henning and from the internet blog.
I have not contacted you as I did not want to be intrusive and as I also faced family issues.
But having read a poem recently I thought about you a lot. So, on this Thanksgiving Day I decided to write you a note, to share this poem with you. You may already know of it; I didn’t until recently.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
By Mary Stevenson, 1936
I can only hope that now that the first round of your treatments is over, that we will see positive changes and we will see again two sets of footprints in the sand.
Jack, you are a rare breed of a gentleman and it has always been a sheer pleasure dealing with you.
When we meet you brighten my days. I look forward to many more of those bright days.
Your friend,
Yiannis A. Levendis
It has been sometimes that I have not seen you. In the meantime, I have been receiving news about your medical condition from Henning and from the internet blog.
I have not contacted you as I did not want to be intrusive and as I also faced family issues.
But having read a poem recently I thought about you a lot. So, on this Thanksgiving Day I decided to write you a note, to share this poem with you. You may already know of it; I didn’t until recently.
One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could see only one set of footprints, so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,that if I followed you, you would walk with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life there has only been one set of footprints in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The years when you have seen only one set of footprints, my child, is when I carried you.”
By Mary Stevenson, 1936
I can only hope that now that the first round of your treatments is over, that we will see positive changes and we will see again two sets of footprints in the sand.
Jack, you are a rare breed of a gentleman and it has always been a sheer pleasure dealing with you.
When we meet you brighten my days. I look forward to many more of those bright days.
Your friend,
Yiannis A. Levendis
Monday, November 26, 2007
November 26, 2007 UPDATW
UPDATE
November 26, 2007
Psalm 19:1-4
“The heavens declare the glory of God,
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.”
Psalm 19 is a beautiful Psalm of David and expresses our experiences and opportunities during our difficult trial with Jack. One of Jack’s hopes has been that he would have the opportunity to express to others the glory of the Lord. He is getting more of this time than he had imagined.
He recently was visited by a psychiatrist who wanted to talk with him about how he was feeling about his situation. He had an amazing experience telling her how he is trusting the Lord in all aspects of this challenge. He explained to her that he is confident that the Lord has it all under his complete control and he rests with that. She inquired by asking “Isn’t unusual for scientists to believe like that?” He said not in his experience and he began to give her examples of well known scientists. Jack has always said that he has had a unique view of the majesty of God because of his work. He has observed intricate order and design in the smallest of ways (nano technology). We praise our mighty Lord for these discussions with others.
Jack remains at NE Rehabilitation Hospital where he is receiving 3 hours/day of therapies – speech, occupational, and physical. He enjoys the challenges of the sessions. He doesn’t think there is enough therapy. Sundays are days off where he rests. He told me last evening that when he was in the bathroom, he pulled himself up and down 60 times in order to workout. The staff would have had a heart attack if they had known he was doing this activity. He is so concerned about maintaining as much strength as possible. The staff is concerned about safety. You can obviously tell that safety is second on Jack’s list.
On the medical front, I have spoken with both his radiologist and neurosurgeon. His radiologist, Dr. Shih, told me that he could not have had a worse response to the treatment. The treatment did not arrest the tumor growth, it continues to grow, as I mentioned previously. Also, there is much necrotic (dead) tissue. Dr. Cosgrove has decided that surgery is the best option. He would debulk or resection the tumor (both of these terms are used interchangeably) and remove as much of the dead tissue as possible. The hope would be potentially to restore the use of Jack’s left leg. The original inoperable diagnosis was given due to the paralysis issue. We now have the paralysis, so we don’t have anything to lose in Jack’s function. Of course, there is always risk with surgery. Dr. Cosgrove explained that the biggest concern is the possibility of infection from the necrotic tissue. Jack and Dr. Cosgrove meet today to discuss surgery. If Jack opts for the surgery, it will likely occur this week. Jack has indicated to me that he will choose surgery.
Jack is much better overall than he was a week ago. The high doses of steroids have reduced the swelling so much that he is much more alert and engaged. He does continue to exhibit erratic blood sugar levels. If his blood sugar is elevated, they administer insulin. Medical issues become like a domino effect; one problem is helped only to create another one.
The children and I had a lovely Thanksgiving with Jack. The hospital had a catered meal for patients and families. It felt very festive. It was also comforting to be among so many others suffering in similar situations. The staff is wonderful at this hospital creating a place of hope and courage. We are thankful.
Courtenay, Jonathan, Megan, and I have spent time together over the weekend discussing our hopes, fears, concerns, and strategies. I told them that we have two primary jobs with Jack – comfort him and love him in all the ways we can.
If Jack has successful surgery, he would begin taking the Brazilian plant extracts that I previously have mentioned. He is willing to take them. The doctors have said whatever you want to try as long as it will not harm him. We believe we have nothing to lose with this option.
By God’s grace, we move through these events with hope, joy, and solitude. The Lord continues to provide for us in all ways for that we are most thankful.
I will update further when we have more information.
I will close with the quote from Psalm 19:14
“May the words of my mouth and the
meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
Blessings to all of you who continue to send cards, emails, and prayers to us and for us,
Carolyn
November 26, 2007
Psalm 19:1-4
“The heavens declare the glory of God,
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
Day after day they pour forth speech;
night after night they display knowledge.
There is no speech or language
where their voice is not heard.
Their voice goes out into all the earth,
their words to the ends of the world.”
Psalm 19 is a beautiful Psalm of David and expresses our experiences and opportunities during our difficult trial with Jack. One of Jack’s hopes has been that he would have the opportunity to express to others the glory of the Lord. He is getting more of this time than he had imagined.
He recently was visited by a psychiatrist who wanted to talk with him about how he was feeling about his situation. He had an amazing experience telling her how he is trusting the Lord in all aspects of this challenge. He explained to her that he is confident that the Lord has it all under his complete control and he rests with that. She inquired by asking “Isn’t unusual for scientists to believe like that?” He said not in his experience and he began to give her examples of well known scientists. Jack has always said that he has had a unique view of the majesty of God because of his work. He has observed intricate order and design in the smallest of ways (nano technology). We praise our mighty Lord for these discussions with others.
Jack remains at NE Rehabilitation Hospital where he is receiving 3 hours/day of therapies – speech, occupational, and physical. He enjoys the challenges of the sessions. He doesn’t think there is enough therapy. Sundays are days off where he rests. He told me last evening that when he was in the bathroom, he pulled himself up and down 60 times in order to workout. The staff would have had a heart attack if they had known he was doing this activity. He is so concerned about maintaining as much strength as possible. The staff is concerned about safety. You can obviously tell that safety is second on Jack’s list.
On the medical front, I have spoken with both his radiologist and neurosurgeon. His radiologist, Dr. Shih, told me that he could not have had a worse response to the treatment. The treatment did not arrest the tumor growth, it continues to grow, as I mentioned previously. Also, there is much necrotic (dead) tissue. Dr. Cosgrove has decided that surgery is the best option. He would debulk or resection the tumor (both of these terms are used interchangeably) and remove as much of the dead tissue as possible. The hope would be potentially to restore the use of Jack’s left leg. The original inoperable diagnosis was given due to the paralysis issue. We now have the paralysis, so we don’t have anything to lose in Jack’s function. Of course, there is always risk with surgery. Dr. Cosgrove explained that the biggest concern is the possibility of infection from the necrotic tissue. Jack and Dr. Cosgrove meet today to discuss surgery. If Jack opts for the surgery, it will likely occur this week. Jack has indicated to me that he will choose surgery.
Jack is much better overall than he was a week ago. The high doses of steroids have reduced the swelling so much that he is much more alert and engaged. He does continue to exhibit erratic blood sugar levels. If his blood sugar is elevated, they administer insulin. Medical issues become like a domino effect; one problem is helped only to create another one.
The children and I had a lovely Thanksgiving with Jack. The hospital had a catered meal for patients and families. It felt very festive. It was also comforting to be among so many others suffering in similar situations. The staff is wonderful at this hospital creating a place of hope and courage. We are thankful.
Courtenay, Jonathan, Megan, and I have spent time together over the weekend discussing our hopes, fears, concerns, and strategies. I told them that we have two primary jobs with Jack – comfort him and love him in all the ways we can.
If Jack has successful surgery, he would begin taking the Brazilian plant extracts that I previously have mentioned. He is willing to take them. The doctors have said whatever you want to try as long as it will not harm him. We believe we have nothing to lose with this option.
By God’s grace, we move through these events with hope, joy, and solitude. The Lord continues to provide for us in all ways for that we are most thankful.
I will update further when we have more information.
I will close with the quote from Psalm 19:14
“May the words of my mouth and the
meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.”
Blessings to all of you who continue to send cards, emails, and prayers to us and for us,
Carolyn
Sunday, November 18, 2007
UPDATW November 18, 2007
UPDATE
November 18, 2007
Since I last updated the blog, Jack has continued to decline. He had become lethargic and lacked his usual robust appetite as of Tuesday and Wednesday. He also seemed somewhat more unbalanced when he walked. Stairs were becoming more and more difficult. On Wednesday as he was coming down the stairs with my assistance, he almost toppled over onto me. He also seemed to be more exhausted by each step. After giving him some orange juice, I had him come down the stairs on his bottom, one stair at a time. I became more concerned as I observed that he did not complete his breakfast. I stayed at home as long as possible until he decided he needed a rest. I left home to go to an appointment at work knowing that our daughter-in-law, Megan, and our homecare person would be coming in shortly.
When Megan arrived around noon, she found Jack on the floor struggling to get up. He told her that he wasn’t sure how he landed on the floor but that his body was shaking strongly. He said he thought this was the long awaited seizure. Megan called me and I had her call his doctor. His doctor decided that he needed to be admitted to Lahey Clinic, his new source of care. I must add that the entire Lahey Clinic experience has been amazing. The nurse advised that they wanted us to call an ambulance as soon as they had identified a room for him. They did not want him stranded in the emergency room. She called back in about 10 minutes with directions for the admittance process coupled with a room number. He was admitted around 1 PM on Wednesday.
After doing a CT scan on Jack, the doctor determined that he had significant brain swelling. They dramatically increased his steroids to reduce the swelling. Within a few hours, he was eating well again and seemed much more alert than he had for several days.
The MRI, to establish the first benchmark since his radiation ended, was still scheduled for Friday, as planned. I am copying the email onto this update that I sent to family and friends after that report.
Dear Family and beloved Friends:
Yesterday morning when I was meditating on the Psalms, I came across this verse from Psalm 112:7-8 which states:
"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."
I took these verses to Jack at noon. I told him that these were verses to prepare us for the day. He was much more alert than he had been on Wednesday. We had some good together time in the afternoon. We both had naps! You know you are getting old when you would rather sleep than talk!
He had his MRI Friday AM. The news is not good. The reason for the major decline that I observed this week was due to severe brain swelling which they observed on the CT scan given on Wednesday evening. It appears that the tumor did not respond to the radiation and chemotherapy now coupled with tissue death and severe swelling from the treatment. The initial fear was that the tumor was inoperable since it could lead to permanent paralysis. Since Jack is now paralyzed on his left side (even his walking is almost impossible now), the Dr. suggested that surgery might be a consideration to debulk the tumor and dead tissue with the hope of restoring his walking. If surgery is done, we also have another option. Jack has a MIT colleague, Bob Langer, who is world renown for his drug delivery systems. One of the systems he has developed with success is a chemo wafer put into the tumor if surgery is done. It not only kills the tumor cells but it has no side effects like systemic chemotherapy. We discussed alternative treatments such as rain forest extracts for which we also have access. Dr. Cosgrove said he has no problem with anything we want to try. Another interesting development is an electromagnetic helmet that prevents tumor cells from dividing and multiplying. The electromagnetic waves polarize the cells, stopping their development.
Presently, the plan is as follows: Jack goes to New England Rehabilitation hospital this morning (Saturday). This facility is an acute rehab environment. He will be there until he plateaus or the team decides he is unable to continue. Jack is on 12 mg/day of steroids, (dexadrone). The Dr. wants to see how he responds to this level of treatment. He will not proceed with the chemotherapy (Temodar) originally planned since he did not respond on Round 1. On Wednesday, I will speak with Dr. Cosgrove about my observations of Jack on the increased steroids. The high doses of steroids cause an increase in blood sugar. They are monitoring that very closely and are now giving him doses of insulin, as needed.We covet your prayers and support during this most challenging and breathtaking experience.
Love and blessings,Carolyn
Jack was transported successfully to NE Rehab hospital. The staff began evaluating him and helping him upon his arrival. They are teaching him strategies for helping himself as well as safety precautions.
We had a most pleasant surprise last evening. Our dear friends, Jim and Sunny Nichols, from the Cape Cod area surprised us with a wonderful visit. They visited Jack. Jim and Jack shared Nano-C war stories and had some good laughs. Jim graciously served as the Nano-C interim CEO while the company was doing a CEO search. Jim and Sunny are native Georgians. The children and I had gone to a nearby bistro café for supper. I turned around as Megan was waving at this couple, none other than the Nichols. I told Jim that you know the difference in friends and Southern friends. Friends call and ask when they can visit. Southern friends just show up. We were so blessed by their spiritual and physical embrace. Jim and Sunny’s church sends weekly get well cards through a lady named, Gloria. Jim has also been responsible for churches all over the country, especially churches South and West of here, sending us regular get well cards. We treasure all of the outreach to us.
I visited Jack briefly this morning where he was receiving occupational therapy (OT) and physical therapy (PT). I did not stay long since he was so busy. He has declared that his breakfast tasted like cardboard. He had a waffle and thick oatmeal – I may have to hire a personal chef for him. He must be better since he is complaining about the food.
I saw an encouraging sign while I was there. If the OT opened his left hand for him, he could partially close it. He has had no movement in his hand for weeks. Hopefully, as the swelling subsides, he will continue to see strength and activity in the left side. His spirit is strong We know that spiritual and physical strength is the strength our mighty Lord so mercifully supplies. We are so thankful for the multitude of blessings as we continue to revel in the marvelous mercy that is so richly provided to us.
The medical goal for Jack remains as follows: to provide him with the highest quality of life that he can have for as long as possible. The Dr. reassured us that based on the tumor location that Jack's cognitive abilities, personality, or the quality of his personhood would not be altered by this tumor. The tumor is located in the left side motor cortex of the right frontal lobe. The Psalmist David talks about that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are witnessing this amazing quote with Jack's experience.
As we are all preparing for our Thanksgiving feasts, let us all bow our heads with grateful praise to our God, who is the giver of all our abundance.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Carolyn and family
November 18, 2007
Since I last updated the blog, Jack has continued to decline. He had become lethargic and lacked his usual robust appetite as of Tuesday and Wednesday. He also seemed somewhat more unbalanced when he walked. Stairs were becoming more and more difficult. On Wednesday as he was coming down the stairs with my assistance, he almost toppled over onto me. He also seemed to be more exhausted by each step. After giving him some orange juice, I had him come down the stairs on his bottom, one stair at a time. I became more concerned as I observed that he did not complete his breakfast. I stayed at home as long as possible until he decided he needed a rest. I left home to go to an appointment at work knowing that our daughter-in-law, Megan, and our homecare person would be coming in shortly.
When Megan arrived around noon, she found Jack on the floor struggling to get up. He told her that he wasn’t sure how he landed on the floor but that his body was shaking strongly. He said he thought this was the long awaited seizure. Megan called me and I had her call his doctor. His doctor decided that he needed to be admitted to Lahey Clinic, his new source of care. I must add that the entire Lahey Clinic experience has been amazing. The nurse advised that they wanted us to call an ambulance as soon as they had identified a room for him. They did not want him stranded in the emergency room. She called back in about 10 minutes with directions for the admittance process coupled with a room number. He was admitted around 1 PM on Wednesday.
After doing a CT scan on Jack, the doctor determined that he had significant brain swelling. They dramatically increased his steroids to reduce the swelling. Within a few hours, he was eating well again and seemed much more alert than he had for several days.
The MRI, to establish the first benchmark since his radiation ended, was still scheduled for Friday, as planned. I am copying the email onto this update that I sent to family and friends after that report.
Dear Family and beloved Friends:
Yesterday morning when I was meditating on the Psalms, I came across this verse from Psalm 112:7-8 which states:
"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look in triumph on his foes."
I took these verses to Jack at noon. I told him that these were verses to prepare us for the day. He was much more alert than he had been on Wednesday. We had some good together time in the afternoon. We both had naps! You know you are getting old when you would rather sleep than talk!
He had his MRI Friday AM. The news is not good. The reason for the major decline that I observed this week was due to severe brain swelling which they observed on the CT scan given on Wednesday evening. It appears that the tumor did not respond to the radiation and chemotherapy now coupled with tissue death and severe swelling from the treatment. The initial fear was that the tumor was inoperable since it could lead to permanent paralysis. Since Jack is now paralyzed on his left side (even his walking is almost impossible now), the Dr. suggested that surgery might be a consideration to debulk the tumor and dead tissue with the hope of restoring his walking. If surgery is done, we also have another option. Jack has a MIT colleague, Bob Langer, who is world renown for his drug delivery systems. One of the systems he has developed with success is a chemo wafer put into the tumor if surgery is done. It not only kills the tumor cells but it has no side effects like systemic chemotherapy. We discussed alternative treatments such as rain forest extracts for which we also have access. Dr. Cosgrove said he has no problem with anything we want to try. Another interesting development is an electromagnetic helmet that prevents tumor cells from dividing and multiplying. The electromagnetic waves polarize the cells, stopping their development.
Presently, the plan is as follows: Jack goes to New England Rehabilitation hospital this morning (Saturday). This facility is an acute rehab environment. He will be there until he plateaus or the team decides he is unable to continue. Jack is on 12 mg/day of steroids, (dexadrone). The Dr. wants to see how he responds to this level of treatment. He will not proceed with the chemotherapy (Temodar) originally planned since he did not respond on Round 1. On Wednesday, I will speak with Dr. Cosgrove about my observations of Jack on the increased steroids. The high doses of steroids cause an increase in blood sugar. They are monitoring that very closely and are now giving him doses of insulin, as needed.We covet your prayers and support during this most challenging and breathtaking experience.
Love and blessings,Carolyn
Jack was transported successfully to NE Rehab hospital. The staff began evaluating him and helping him upon his arrival. They are teaching him strategies for helping himself as well as safety precautions.
We had a most pleasant surprise last evening. Our dear friends, Jim and Sunny Nichols, from the Cape Cod area surprised us with a wonderful visit. They visited Jack. Jim and Jack shared Nano-C war stories and had some good laughs. Jim graciously served as the Nano-C interim CEO while the company was doing a CEO search. Jim and Sunny are native Georgians. The children and I had gone to a nearby bistro café for supper. I turned around as Megan was waving at this couple, none other than the Nichols. I told Jim that you know the difference in friends and Southern friends. Friends call and ask when they can visit. Southern friends just show up. We were so blessed by their spiritual and physical embrace. Jim and Sunny’s church sends weekly get well cards through a lady named, Gloria. Jim has also been responsible for churches all over the country, especially churches South and West of here, sending us regular get well cards. We treasure all of the outreach to us.
I visited Jack briefly this morning where he was receiving occupational therapy (OT) and physical therapy (PT). I did not stay long since he was so busy. He has declared that his breakfast tasted like cardboard. He had a waffle and thick oatmeal – I may have to hire a personal chef for him. He must be better since he is complaining about the food.
I saw an encouraging sign while I was there. If the OT opened his left hand for him, he could partially close it. He has had no movement in his hand for weeks. Hopefully, as the swelling subsides, he will continue to see strength and activity in the left side. His spirit is strong We know that spiritual and physical strength is the strength our mighty Lord so mercifully supplies. We are so thankful for the multitude of blessings as we continue to revel in the marvelous mercy that is so richly provided to us.
The medical goal for Jack remains as follows: to provide him with the highest quality of life that he can have for as long as possible. The Dr. reassured us that based on the tumor location that Jack's cognitive abilities, personality, or the quality of his personhood would not be altered by this tumor. The tumor is located in the left side motor cortex of the right frontal lobe. The Psalmist David talks about that we are fearfully and wonderfully made. We are witnessing this amazing quote with Jack's experience.
As we are all preparing for our Thanksgiving feasts, let us all bow our heads with grateful praise to our God, who is the giver of all our abundance.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Carolyn and family
Friday, November 16, 2007
Letter from Mohammad Hajaligol, former student and colleague
October 10, 2007
Dear Jack,
Hope you, Carolyn, and other family members are fine and are strongly coping with the current very tiring situation. Reading the information in your blog shows me once again your response to this situation is so admirable; representative of a great values in life something that you have been the symbol of throughout your life. You continue to be a model for me in my life, for which I shall be forever grateful.
I don’t know where to start and how to express my feelings as sometimes words are not sufficient. Though I have known you almost for 30 years and have seen you time and again, I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to express myself. Maybe, like so often, we take important parts of our lives for granted. You are a loving, caring, and wonderful human-being. You’ve touched and affected many individuals’ lives. You have been the source of inspiration and aspiration for many who have had the good fortune -- or perhaps even the wisdom -- to work with and learn from you, to have been taught and mentored by you. In fact you are all of these and more; you are more than one could ever hope for in a friend, teacher and colleague. With no doubt in my mind I can say that you’ve had the greatest impact in my life in this country.
My experience with my first PhD thesis was a disaster. So, I started to look for another research and another professor. I had learned that I needed to look for a thesis supervisor that not only is scientifically well recognized but had a strong personality and above all a caring human being. With these and many more in my mind, you were the only one that could meet all these and more, so I made an appointment with you and discuss my interest in your research area in the very early part of year 1978. Unlike many others, you were so generous and accepted me as one of you PhD student without giving me any hard time.
One year passed with not much progress. I was about 25 years old student, full of energy but my mind was in so many directions. During the spring of 1979 and knowing what’s happening with me, one day you asked me, when do I want to become serious in doing my research work to finish my degree. I thought for a few moments and replied I would like to take a trip to my home country this summer, if I come back I will finish it; and if I don’t come back, well, then I am done. You smiled and very patiently said that is fine; you knew me and you let me to freely choose my way. I have never forgotten this moment in my life.
I came back to Cambridge that summer and finished my degree by late 1980. Though you offered that I could stay for a postdoc program, instead I decided to go back to my home country right after my thesis defense; I didn’t even stay for graduation ceremonies.
I stayed in Iran for over four years and it was early 1985. I was feeling very tired in my life both personally and professionally and was looking for a change. I sent you a letter, explained my situation, and asked for an invitation. You graciously helped me in coming back to MIT for a short sabbatical. With a lot you did for me, I could get a visa and come back again to MIT. Two months passed and I decided to stay longer but didn’t feel comfortable to come to you and ask again for your help, so without letting you know started looking for a job even if it was a postdoc job, 5 years after my graduation. A few places contacted you and that was how you found out about my intention. You didn’t get upset, and instead one day, you told me that you know I am looking for a job and suggested I can stay and work with your group; though the pay is not big, but MIT has a big name! So, you helped me again to hang on to a professional life, to grow, to have space to mature, and then, to move on.
A few years passed, I was still working at MIT and looking for a permanent job and I was getting so desperate that I was ready to leave everything behind once again and go back to Iran. It was in the fall of 1987 when with your recommendation a good school decided to seriously look at my job application. I will never forget the day in early December 1987 that for some reason I was late; when I arrived in my office, there was a message from you. You had also asked so many if they see me ask me to come to your office. When I finally met you in your office on the 4th floor of building 66 at around 11:00AM, you said this company that is called Philip Morris is looking for a scientist that matches your qualifications. I didn’t know what type of company Philip Morris is and you explained me that though you know my aspiration is for academia but industry is another experience. With your recommendation and Adel's, in a few days I had a job offer from Philip Morris. This was shocking and didn’t know how to explain this in my life. This was another critical point in my life, especially for staying in this country and becoming successful and prosperous.
My life changed again, forever, for the positive.
I have been successful and happy with my career at Philip Morris; and of course there are many challenges when one starts a new career. And, it took about 10 years for the company to finally assign me to a position that you had taught me during my PhD program. I started the combustion research program at Philip Morris in 1998 and you again became a major source of inspiration, energy, and scientific initiative for me and my group.
It is now many years later. I am so happily married to a wonderful woman. I have so many wonderful friends whom I treasure. I have exceeded my own expectations in my profession.
This does not happen to every body so simply, for me it is very simple; my life and my successes in this country would not have been possible without you. You are my mentor and my hero, and while it may sound selfish but pray and like you stay around very long.
With many prayers and kindest regards,
Mohammad
Dear Jack,
Hope you, Carolyn, and other family members are fine and are strongly coping with the current very tiring situation. Reading the information in your blog shows me once again your response to this situation is so admirable; representative of a great values in life something that you have been the symbol of throughout your life. You continue to be a model for me in my life, for which I shall be forever grateful.
I don’t know where to start and how to express my feelings as sometimes words are not sufficient. Though I have known you almost for 30 years and have seen you time and again, I don’t know why I’ve waited so long to express myself. Maybe, like so often, we take important parts of our lives for granted. You are a loving, caring, and wonderful human-being. You’ve touched and affected many individuals’ lives. You have been the source of inspiration and aspiration for many who have had the good fortune -- or perhaps even the wisdom -- to work with and learn from you, to have been taught and mentored by you. In fact you are all of these and more; you are more than one could ever hope for in a friend, teacher and colleague. With no doubt in my mind I can say that you’ve had the greatest impact in my life in this country.
My experience with my first PhD thesis was a disaster. So, I started to look for another research and another professor. I had learned that I needed to look for a thesis supervisor that not only is scientifically well recognized but had a strong personality and above all a caring human being. With these and many more in my mind, you were the only one that could meet all these and more, so I made an appointment with you and discuss my interest in your research area in the very early part of year 1978. Unlike many others, you were so generous and accepted me as one of you PhD student without giving me any hard time.
One year passed with not much progress. I was about 25 years old student, full of energy but my mind was in so many directions. During the spring of 1979 and knowing what’s happening with me, one day you asked me, when do I want to become serious in doing my research work to finish my degree. I thought for a few moments and replied I would like to take a trip to my home country this summer, if I come back I will finish it; and if I don’t come back, well, then I am done. You smiled and very patiently said that is fine; you knew me and you let me to freely choose my way. I have never forgotten this moment in my life.
I came back to Cambridge that summer and finished my degree by late 1980. Though you offered that I could stay for a postdoc program, instead I decided to go back to my home country right after my thesis defense; I didn’t even stay for graduation ceremonies.
I stayed in Iran for over four years and it was early 1985. I was feeling very tired in my life both personally and professionally and was looking for a change. I sent you a letter, explained my situation, and asked for an invitation. You graciously helped me in coming back to MIT for a short sabbatical. With a lot you did for me, I could get a visa and come back again to MIT. Two months passed and I decided to stay longer but didn’t feel comfortable to come to you and ask again for your help, so without letting you know started looking for a job even if it was a postdoc job, 5 years after my graduation. A few places contacted you and that was how you found out about my intention. You didn’t get upset, and instead one day, you told me that you know I am looking for a job and suggested I can stay and work with your group; though the pay is not big, but MIT has a big name! So, you helped me again to hang on to a professional life, to grow, to have space to mature, and then, to move on.
A few years passed, I was still working at MIT and looking for a permanent job and I was getting so desperate that I was ready to leave everything behind once again and go back to Iran. It was in the fall of 1987 when with your recommendation a good school decided to seriously look at my job application. I will never forget the day in early December 1987 that for some reason I was late; when I arrived in my office, there was a message from you. You had also asked so many if they see me ask me to come to your office. When I finally met you in your office on the 4th floor of building 66 at around 11:00AM, you said this company that is called Philip Morris is looking for a scientist that matches your qualifications. I didn’t know what type of company Philip Morris is and you explained me that though you know my aspiration is for academia but industry is another experience. With your recommendation and Adel's, in a few days I had a job offer from Philip Morris. This was shocking and didn’t know how to explain this in my life. This was another critical point in my life, especially for staying in this country and becoming successful and prosperous.
My life changed again, forever, for the positive.
I have been successful and happy with my career at Philip Morris; and of course there are many challenges when one starts a new career. And, it took about 10 years for the company to finally assign me to a position that you had taught me during my PhD program. I started the combustion research program at Philip Morris in 1998 and you again became a major source of inspiration, energy, and scientific initiative for me and my group.
It is now many years later. I am so happily married to a wonderful woman. I have so many wonderful friends whom I treasure. I have exceeded my own expectations in my profession.
This does not happen to every body so simply, for me it is very simple; my life and my successes in this country would not have been possible without you. You are my mentor and my hero, and while it may sound selfish but pray and like you stay around very long.
With many prayers and kindest regards,
Mohammad
Wednesday, November 7, 2007
UPDATES
November 7, 2007
It is official. Jack has successfully graduated from 30 days of radiation and 42 days of chemotherapy. October 30 was his last day of treatment for which we are both most thankful. The radiation therapist cheered us on. He can accurately say that the whole city was excited. The Red Sox even had a grand parade to celebrate this momentous day. Some people actually think it was to celebrate something the Red Sox did but not us!
Jack tolerated treatment very well. The fallout from the treatment will continue to affect him for several months we were told. If treatment was successful, we could likely begin seeing some improvements in his paralysis in about 2-3 months. The doctors seem optimistic that he will regain the entire use of his arm, hand, leg, and foot. He may not regain his finger dexterity. His spirits are good. He keeps himself occupied by napping. I keep telling him that he is just catching up on years of sleep deprivation. When he is not napping, he is reading, doing Bible study, or writing. This week, I called home and asked Jennifer, his new homecare person, what he was doing and she said – “oh, he is writing his book.” Jack has copious journals on his work which is now focused on brain tumors and assorted other things. Thankfully, he is right handed since it is the left side that is so impaired.
The best part of our trips to the hospital each day was the sharing time that we had. We quickly developed a morning routine. I must confess that I am not missing the rigor of it. However, if anyone wants to know any back road to MGH from Winchester or the surrounding area, please call. We know them all including time differences during various hours to arrive from portal to portal. Jack has probably plotted them somewhere.
Megan and Jonathan have moved into their empty condo still anxious to get their furniture. Their furniture still has not arrived. It is 1.5 weeks overdue and now is not expected until next week. As Megan says, there must be a good reason for this event. If nothing else, their things will be most welcomed when they do arrive. We have some very good news on the job front for Jonathan. He has had multiple interviews and begins some freelance editing work for Boston Productions on Monday. He has been wanting to do freelance work, so here is his opportunity. Thank you Lord.
We had a very good visit from Ingo Wersborg on Sunday. Ingo has spent some time with us as his American family while he attended MIT one year ago. Ingo is the youngest son of our dear friends the Wersborgs that came from Germany for Jack’s birthday a few weeks ago. He surprised Jack with a CD of a beautiful opera and a fabulous Bose stereo system to play it on. Thank you Wersborgs for such a special gift from such special friends.
We continue to enjoy the vista of the Lord’s hand in our lives. My office bookkeeper, Maria Corso, had offered us a special recliner that had belonged to a family member. I told her we were interested in it. It turns out that after her family member had used it, that a dear friend of hers had borrowed it for the summer for his Mother who was visiting. The sister of this friend used to be Jack’s secretary at MIT. On an occasion, Jack had gone to the airport to pick up his secretary’s brother, this friend of Maria. The chair that Jack will receive is being delivered from its current home (Jack’s former secretary and her brother) to our home. It is so amazing to observe the beauty of such a small world. It makes me think of the verse in Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” We are truly blessed with such amazing loving-kindness.
The joy of the experience is the surprise around every corner. Even the shocking and difficult surprises have been surrounded by even more beautiful and unexpected surprises. Just when I think, I can go no more, someone appears, a call comes from someone with a pot of soup (like this evening from my beloved office manager, Karen Brown – no less than home grown by her Dad and made with love by her and her Mom, escarole soup), a gift arrives, an email of concern and care. It fills us with awe! These uplifting moments bring to mind Habakkuk 3:19 – “The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer to enable me to go to the heights.” This verse is so uplifting since a disease like this one has great potential to bring us down to the depths but by the grace of our Lord we are being lifted to the heights. All of this experience is truly beyond our strength, so we leave it all at the feet of our Lord.
Jack is still thinking about combustion for all of you who may be concerned. This morning there was a front page article in the Boston Globe about hospital fires in operating rooms. Jack reminded me that he had done some consulting work for WR Grace on this problem many years ago. This article discussed putting rubbing alcohol on a patient’s abdomen to cauterize a mole after gallbladder surgery. Apparently, the abdomen ignited from the cautery tool and alcohol. The flame was described as blue. Jack immediately asked me if I knew why it was blue. Before I could respond, he said because it does not have soot in it. Oh, Jack’s beloved soot. When Courtenay and Jonathan were tiny, he would put a cutlery knife in a candle flame to collect soot and talk to them about it. Needless to say, I have never gotten as excited about flames or soot as Jack. Jack’s tumor may impair his motor function but it is not slowing much else down that is going on in the rest of his brain.
There are many things to learn from these events in our lives. I am sure this list will continue to grow with time. I will share the ones that I have penned thus far:
1. The only thing we have on earth, humanly speaking, is time.
2. The time we can spend with family is most valuable.
3. Considering each other more than our self is extremely important.
4. Communicating freely and openly prevents misunderstandings.
5. Participating in family gatherings even when it is the last thing one wants to do. It may be the last opportunity to see each other.
6. Focusing on each other’s needs more than personal fears.
7. Loving each other as Christ has loved us, unconditionally.
8. Trusting the Lord in all things and not lean on our own understanding.
9. Embracing the experience as an opportunity for growth in the knowledge of our Lord and love for each other.
10.Caring for others more than ourself.
Many heartfelt thanks to all of you who call, email, care, and walk with us during this journey.
I will update next time after the November 16th medical appointment at Lahey Clinic.
Have a wonderful Veteran’s Day weekend.
Carolyn
November 7, 2007
It is official. Jack has successfully graduated from 30 days of radiation and 42 days of chemotherapy. October 30 was his last day of treatment for which we are both most thankful. The radiation therapist cheered us on. He can accurately say that the whole city was excited. The Red Sox even had a grand parade to celebrate this momentous day. Some people actually think it was to celebrate something the Red Sox did but not us!
Jack tolerated treatment very well. The fallout from the treatment will continue to affect him for several months we were told. If treatment was successful, we could likely begin seeing some improvements in his paralysis in about 2-3 months. The doctors seem optimistic that he will regain the entire use of his arm, hand, leg, and foot. He may not regain his finger dexterity. His spirits are good. He keeps himself occupied by napping. I keep telling him that he is just catching up on years of sleep deprivation. When he is not napping, he is reading, doing Bible study, or writing. This week, I called home and asked Jennifer, his new homecare person, what he was doing and she said – “oh, he is writing his book.” Jack has copious journals on his work which is now focused on brain tumors and assorted other things. Thankfully, he is right handed since it is the left side that is so impaired.
The best part of our trips to the hospital each day was the sharing time that we had. We quickly developed a morning routine. I must confess that I am not missing the rigor of it. However, if anyone wants to know any back road to MGH from Winchester or the surrounding area, please call. We know them all including time differences during various hours to arrive from portal to portal. Jack has probably plotted them somewhere.
Megan and Jonathan have moved into their empty condo still anxious to get their furniture. Their furniture still has not arrived. It is 1.5 weeks overdue and now is not expected until next week. As Megan says, there must be a good reason for this event. If nothing else, their things will be most welcomed when they do arrive. We have some very good news on the job front for Jonathan. He has had multiple interviews and begins some freelance editing work for Boston Productions on Monday. He has been wanting to do freelance work, so here is his opportunity. Thank you Lord.
We had a very good visit from Ingo Wersborg on Sunday. Ingo has spent some time with us as his American family while he attended MIT one year ago. Ingo is the youngest son of our dear friends the Wersborgs that came from Germany for Jack’s birthday a few weeks ago. He surprised Jack with a CD of a beautiful opera and a fabulous Bose stereo system to play it on. Thank you Wersborgs for such a special gift from such special friends.
We continue to enjoy the vista of the Lord’s hand in our lives. My office bookkeeper, Maria Corso, had offered us a special recliner that had belonged to a family member. I told her we were interested in it. It turns out that after her family member had used it, that a dear friend of hers had borrowed it for the summer for his Mother who was visiting. The sister of this friend used to be Jack’s secretary at MIT. On an occasion, Jack had gone to the airport to pick up his secretary’s brother, this friend of Maria. The chair that Jack will receive is being delivered from its current home (Jack’s former secretary and her brother) to our home. It is so amazing to observe the beauty of such a small world. It makes me think of the verse in Jeremiah 31:3 “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” We are truly blessed with such amazing loving-kindness.
The joy of the experience is the surprise around every corner. Even the shocking and difficult surprises have been surrounded by even more beautiful and unexpected surprises. Just when I think, I can go no more, someone appears, a call comes from someone with a pot of soup (like this evening from my beloved office manager, Karen Brown – no less than home grown by her Dad and made with love by her and her Mom, escarole soup), a gift arrives, an email of concern and care. It fills us with awe! These uplifting moments bring to mind Habakkuk 3:19 – “The sovereign Lord is my strength; he makes my feet like the feet of a deer to enable me to go to the heights.” This verse is so uplifting since a disease like this one has great potential to bring us down to the depths but by the grace of our Lord we are being lifted to the heights. All of this experience is truly beyond our strength, so we leave it all at the feet of our Lord.
Jack is still thinking about combustion for all of you who may be concerned. This morning there was a front page article in the Boston Globe about hospital fires in operating rooms. Jack reminded me that he had done some consulting work for WR Grace on this problem many years ago. This article discussed putting rubbing alcohol on a patient’s abdomen to cauterize a mole after gallbladder surgery. Apparently, the abdomen ignited from the cautery tool and alcohol. The flame was described as blue. Jack immediately asked me if I knew why it was blue. Before I could respond, he said because it does not have soot in it. Oh, Jack’s beloved soot. When Courtenay and Jonathan were tiny, he would put a cutlery knife in a candle flame to collect soot and talk to them about it. Needless to say, I have never gotten as excited about flames or soot as Jack. Jack’s tumor may impair his motor function but it is not slowing much else down that is going on in the rest of his brain.
There are many things to learn from these events in our lives. I am sure this list will continue to grow with time. I will share the ones that I have penned thus far:
1. The only thing we have on earth, humanly speaking, is time.
2. The time we can spend with family is most valuable.
3. Considering each other more than our self is extremely important.
4. Communicating freely and openly prevents misunderstandings.
5. Participating in family gatherings even when it is the last thing one wants to do. It may be the last opportunity to see each other.
6. Focusing on each other’s needs more than personal fears.
7. Loving each other as Christ has loved us, unconditionally.
8. Trusting the Lord in all things and not lean on our own understanding.
9. Embracing the experience as an opportunity for growth in the knowledge of our Lord and love for each other.
10.Caring for others more than ourself.
Many heartfelt thanks to all of you who call, email, care, and walk with us during this journey.
I will update next time after the November 16th medical appointment at Lahey Clinic.
Have a wonderful Veteran’s Day weekend.
Carolyn
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