We are settling into a routine, after 7 weeks of our new life. Each day we arrive at MGH at approximately 9:20 AM for his 9:30 AM treatment. Jack continues to tolerate the treatment very well. He has a couple of spots where he has lost his hair due to the radiation. It is like genetic balding at the back of his head and a bad haircut on one side in the front. I told him that he could get hair extensions and he would be all set. Actually, in the town next to us, there is a Hair Salon for Men that does exactly that work. I have seen men who have gone there and you could never guess. So you fellows out there that would like some extra hair, you have just been provided with a free advertisement. As you might guess, Jack has never been vain so he is choosing to sport a new Boston Red Sox hat over the hair weaves. Given that the Red Sox are thriving at the moment, he looks like he is just one of the millions of fans and I am certain that the Red Sox cap was much less expensive.
Jack has settled into receiving much help from me. He was laughing one morning as I was helping him put on his shoes that it took a brain tumor to get this much attention from me. I told him that he really didn’t have to go to this extreme. Laughing requires much less energy.
We had a wonderful visit with Jack’s sister, Myra who was my college roommate, over this last weekend. We went down many memory lanes. Myra and I have been like sisters since we met and over the decades since last century. Our lives have been intertwined with Jack as our common bond. We laughed, cried, and talked. We had a wonderful time. One of the many blessings of Jack’s illness has been the family visits, calls, and emails. It is truly a wonderful time for us.
Jack has spent years working in his basement office. It is a view of him that I have had hundreds of times as I come home from work and walk down the brick path to our back door. I cannot express how often I would become so aggravated at the incessant work. Today, I had an entirely different view of that scene. Surprisingly, as I made my evening walk to the back door, I observed a light on in Jack’s office, I looked, I saw his back, and I experienced great joy. Jack was at his computer working. It was the best sight that I have seen in weeks. It has literally been 7 weeks and 2 days since he sat in that chair and did anything. I almost forgot, for a second, that life has changed so dramatically. It seemed for a moment that the routine of our lives had returned.
We only have 13 more radiation treatments. I will not miss these daily treks into radiation at MGH. I did find out that medicare only allows 30 days of meds/month. However, no one bothered to inform us. When I questioned the nurse, she said it was due to the co-pays that medicare wants. I was told by another nurse that the medication is fully covered by medicare. Stay tuned. We are now almost out of the chemo but we haven’t expired the 30 days so with 1 day left we can order the drug and hope we receive it in time for the treatment. I must say that the medical process in this country is a MESS!!! October 30 is his last day for treatment.
I want to thank all of you who have been sending birthday wishes to Jack. He appreciates all of them. We have a wonderful birthday prize coming our way on Tuesday. Jack’s first PhD student and his wife are coming from Germany to help us celebrate. We have been very close to them for many, many years. Their names are Benno and Ursula Wersborg. Ursula was an exchange teacher in Quincy when I taught school there. I introduced them at a dinner party, and they are living happily ever after. We want to congratulate them. They have a new, first grandson, Theo delivered by our shared daughter, Maja and her husband, Phillipe. Benno has always said that I really have 5 children, our two and their three.
As we progress through our challenge, we continue to experience Phillipians 4 – “The Lord is at hand”. We find great comfort and solace knowing that He has felt all of our infirmities. Our prayer is truly that we continue to know His love and that His embrace is the balm of our hearts. He alone is worthy to be praised.
Jonathan and Megan leave Los Angeles on Monday, October 15. We still are in disbelief that they are almost here. They are ready to close on their condo mortgage on October 25. This event is just delightful. Jonathan informs me that the boxes are almost packed and the truckers are “almost ready to drag the stuff on board”. We pray that the Lord will provide them with traveling safety as they drive across the 3000 miles from sea to shining sea.
Thank you all for your continued care, thoughts, and prayers as well as the many expressions of love and compassion. The food is delicious and the outpouring of help from so many is beyond words of gratitude. We have been touched by the Lord through all of you.
Carolyn
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Letter from Chris Pope
Dear Jack,
Greetings from the "enfant terrible" ("problem child" in French) of the Jack Howard research family! For the sake of the blog audience -- I was your grad student from 1984 to 1993, then your post-doc until 1997. I know this is a little late (surprise, surprise!), but at least I have a good first draft for you to look at. (Something had been telling me since late August to get up with you. Now I know why.)
You and your whole family have been in my thoughts and prayers near-continuously since I found out late Wednesday night about the new health conditions besetting your brain, a combination of the cancer, a closed head injury (the subdural hematoma), and
intermittent inflammation. It's taken a few days for me to get past my sadness and shock at this turn of events for you, which is truly absurd, especially in the literal sense of not being able to be understood by reason alone. If ever there was somebody who didn't deserve it.... Fortunately, you and your family have been blessed with an astonishing amount of faith in Divine providence and justice.
You have made possible nearly all the success I have had as a professional. You stuck by me and believed in me and my potential through a long string of personal obstacles while I was there at MIT, especially during my first few years as a graduate student. You also kept me afloat for over four years as a post-doc, and wrote many orders of magnitude of letters of recommendation for me while I became the Harold Stassen of faculty candidates, applying year
after year with little luck. It was also through your connections that my next two post-doc positions were possible.
You were a sterling example of greatness, which I've heard defined as the combination of expertise and humanity, combined with humility, the true kind, that of being aware of who you were -- no more, no less. You neither hid your greatness nor flaunted it. What you expected of me was simple: the best I was capable of.
Your wise counsel also recently extended to your advice to apply for disability six years ago, when my health failed me, in large part due to Lyme disease. (You might be pleased to know that my recovery has progressed to the point where I am applying for professional positions again. I'll write more privately about that and ideas for you and Carolyn.) Accepting my limitations at that time was difficult indeed. I am distressed to find you in even more challenging condition than I was then, but heartened to hear that you are being attended to by such excellent medical practitioners. You also have the rare blessing of a loving family. And thanks to Jonathan for his awareness which led to your getting treatment.
It's disturbing but not surprising to hear of the medical blunders. I'm reminded of "The Hospital", a George C. Scott movie in which a hospital's executives are killed off by having them become patients at their own facility. Fortunately, Carolyn is a capable and determined advocate, so I'm not worried about such misfortunes befalling you. Also, I'm sure you'll get many more of those God-scheduled "coincidences" when needed.
I have more than a little confidence in your ability to overcome. I agree with Greg McRae: the world still needs your talents and insights... still needs you. When I first heard the news, I thought of the following from the New Testament (2 Timothy 4:7-8): "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." But don't get fitted for your crown just yet. I'm sure you have a few more battles to win, laps to run, prayers to have answered... In'sh'allah (if it be God's will), and I personally hope that it is in the Divine plan.
Wishing you a complete recovery, and all the brightest blessings....
Chris Pope
Greetings from the "enfant terrible" ("problem child" in French) of the Jack Howard research family! For the sake of the blog audience -- I was your grad student from 1984 to 1993, then your post-doc until 1997. I know this is a little late (surprise, surprise!), but at least I have a good first draft for you to look at. (Something had been telling me since late August to get up with you. Now I know why.)
You and your whole family have been in my thoughts and prayers near-continuously since I found out late Wednesday night about the new health conditions besetting your brain, a combination of the cancer, a closed head injury (the subdural hematoma), and
intermittent inflammation. It's taken a few days for me to get past my sadness and shock at this turn of events for you, which is truly absurd, especially in the literal sense of not being able to be understood by reason alone. If ever there was somebody who didn't deserve it.... Fortunately, you and your family have been blessed with an astonishing amount of faith in Divine providence and justice.
You have made possible nearly all the success I have had as a professional. You stuck by me and believed in me and my potential through a long string of personal obstacles while I was there at MIT, especially during my first few years as a graduate student. You also kept me afloat for over four years as a post-doc, and wrote many orders of magnitude of letters of recommendation for me while I became the Harold Stassen of faculty candidates, applying year
after year with little luck. It was also through your connections that my next two post-doc positions were possible.
You were a sterling example of greatness, which I've heard defined as the combination of expertise and humanity, combined with humility, the true kind, that of being aware of who you were -- no more, no less. You neither hid your greatness nor flaunted it. What you expected of me was simple: the best I was capable of.
Your wise counsel also recently extended to your advice to apply for disability six years ago, when my health failed me, in large part due to Lyme disease. (You might be pleased to know that my recovery has progressed to the point where I am applying for professional positions again. I'll write more privately about that and ideas for you and Carolyn.) Accepting my limitations at that time was difficult indeed. I am distressed to find you in even more challenging condition than I was then, but heartened to hear that you are being attended to by such excellent medical practitioners. You also have the rare blessing of a loving family. And thanks to Jonathan for his awareness which led to your getting treatment.
It's disturbing but not surprising to hear of the medical blunders. I'm reminded of "The Hospital", a George C. Scott movie in which a hospital's executives are killed off by having them become patients at their own facility. Fortunately, Carolyn is a capable and determined advocate, so I'm not worried about such misfortunes befalling you. Also, I'm sure you'll get many more of those God-scheduled "coincidences" when needed.
I have more than a little confidence in your ability to overcome. I agree with Greg McRae: the world still needs your talents and insights... still needs you. When I first heard the news, I thought of the following from the New Testament (2 Timothy 4:7-8): "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing." But don't get fitted for your crown just yet. I'm sure you have a few more battles to win, laps to run, prayers to have answered... In'sh'allah (if it be God's will), and I personally hope that it is in the Divine plan.
Wishing you a complete recovery, and all the brightest blessings....
Chris Pope
Letter from Bill Peters
Dear Jack,
I write to wish you a Happy Birthday and to share some thanks, memories and Scripture verses I hope will encourage you, Carolyn, Courtenay, Jonathan and Megan. Rosie and I are praying for God’s rich and mighty blessings upon each of you as He guides you through this difficult time.
Jack, the letters from your friends and colleagues posted on the Howard Family Update remind us that your grace, kindness and positive spirit, as well as your extraordinary contributions to research, mentoring, teaching and professional service, have made important lasting differences in the hearts and lives of people literally world-wide. I am fortunate indeed to be one of these people. It will soon be 34 years since I first visited you in your office in Building 12, seeking (arguably begging) for an “energy-related” position that would bring me back to MIT from Yale. I know at times I was oblivious to the many demands on your schedule. Yet you gave generously of your time, sharing your ideas on soot formation and explaining Don Anthony’s doctoral work. Although you led that research, you listened patiently and with genuine curiosity to my suggestion of a possible alternative interpretation for some of Don’s pressure effects data.
Jack, I cannot adequately express my thanks to you for bringing me into the MIT fuels and energy community. Although I had no training in fuels, you hired me just a few months after our first meeting, to assist you in developing new research programs in coal, for what was then the embryonic Energy Lab – a Lab you had strongly encouraged MIT to start. I had no publications and it clearly would have been perfectly reasonable for you to have selected another candidate. Instead you asked if I had some relevant unpublished material - which I did and gave to you. This shows your remarkable ability to see things in a positive light despite evidence of potentially serious negatives. In my case your saw potential, even though the glass was 98% empty. Because you became my boss, mentor, colleague and friend, that potential bore fruit.
Jack you have taught me to speak carefully and write clearly (works transparently still in progress). You are the gold standard in how to achieve professional excellence while always being a true gentleman. You are wise and fair minded, a man of strength, honor and integrity, steadfastly considerate of others. You understand human frailties and are a gifted encourager. After I began working for you, we were speaking one day in your office when your phone rang. You told the caller you would call back because you were “--in a meeting with a colleague.” I was astonished, but deeply honored and affirmed that you viewed me as a colleague rather than the very junior newcomer I saw myself as. My astonishment has grown with time as I have observed first hand your amazing ability to dissolve complexity and make meaningful headway on difficult problems, technical and non-technical. I know that when I work with you Jack, I am with someone truly special.
I deeply appreciate how you have mentored me in research. Very early in my career you invited me to be a co-author on Phil Lewellen’s screen heater study of cellulose pyrolysis kinetics for the 16th Symposium. This was my first fuels paper and our first paper together. I still recall your feedback when I showed you a draft manuscript: “Well Bill, it’s not bad - but there are opportunities for improvement.”!!! Again this was you Jack, kindly helping me to improve my writing. We have written many publications together since then, but I will always remember the door you opened to me in Lewellen, Peters and Howard.
At your 2002 “retirement” dinner I alluded to an acknowledgement Pablo Debenedetti wrote in his 1995 book Metastable Liquids Concepts and Principles. The exact quote is: “My father taught me the importance of working hard, having clear goals, and thinking rationally. It is a lesson that guides me to this day.” Jack, in this sense you have been a father to me, not only because you have taught me the importance of these very same qualities, but because of how you have taught me, by working together one-on-one and by bringing me into the “home” of your research group. There you extended me the privileges of learning from, and collaborating with you in research, in developing new research initiatives, and in supervising students and post docs.
I hope the following assurances of God’s love and faithfulness will encourage you:
“Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.” Psalm 119: 76.
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’” Isaiah 41: 13.
“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6, 7.
“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” 2 Thessalonians 3: 3.
Jack, John 14 is one of my favorite Bible chapters. In verse 27 The Lord Jesus says:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
Jack, thank you for all of you have done for me professionally and personally for the past third of a century. I know you have always been there to provide fair and wise counsel. If Rosie or I can do anything at all to assist you, Carolyn, Courtenay, Jonathan and Megan, please let us know.
God bless you,
Bill
I write to wish you a Happy Birthday and to share some thanks, memories and Scripture verses I hope will encourage you, Carolyn, Courtenay, Jonathan and Megan. Rosie and I are praying for God’s rich and mighty blessings upon each of you as He guides you through this difficult time.
Jack, the letters from your friends and colleagues posted on the Howard Family Update remind us that your grace, kindness and positive spirit, as well as your extraordinary contributions to research, mentoring, teaching and professional service, have made important lasting differences in the hearts and lives of people literally world-wide. I am fortunate indeed to be one of these people. It will soon be 34 years since I first visited you in your office in Building 12, seeking (arguably begging) for an “energy-related” position that would bring me back to MIT from Yale. I know at times I was oblivious to the many demands on your schedule. Yet you gave generously of your time, sharing your ideas on soot formation and explaining Don Anthony’s doctoral work. Although you led that research, you listened patiently and with genuine curiosity to my suggestion of a possible alternative interpretation for some of Don’s pressure effects data.
Jack, I cannot adequately express my thanks to you for bringing me into the MIT fuels and energy community. Although I had no training in fuels, you hired me just a few months after our first meeting, to assist you in developing new research programs in coal, for what was then the embryonic Energy Lab – a Lab you had strongly encouraged MIT to start. I had no publications and it clearly would have been perfectly reasonable for you to have selected another candidate. Instead you asked if I had some relevant unpublished material - which I did and gave to you. This shows your remarkable ability to see things in a positive light despite evidence of potentially serious negatives. In my case your saw potential, even though the glass was 98% empty. Because you became my boss, mentor, colleague and friend, that potential bore fruit.
Jack you have taught me to speak carefully and write clearly (works transparently still in progress). You are the gold standard in how to achieve professional excellence while always being a true gentleman. You are wise and fair minded, a man of strength, honor and integrity, steadfastly considerate of others. You understand human frailties and are a gifted encourager. After I began working for you, we were speaking one day in your office when your phone rang. You told the caller you would call back because you were “--in a meeting with a colleague.” I was astonished, but deeply honored and affirmed that you viewed me as a colleague rather than the very junior newcomer I saw myself as. My astonishment has grown with time as I have observed first hand your amazing ability to dissolve complexity and make meaningful headway on difficult problems, technical and non-technical. I know that when I work with you Jack, I am with someone truly special.
I deeply appreciate how you have mentored me in research. Very early in my career you invited me to be a co-author on Phil Lewellen’s screen heater study of cellulose pyrolysis kinetics for the 16th Symposium. This was my first fuels paper and our first paper together. I still recall your feedback when I showed you a draft manuscript: “Well Bill, it’s not bad - but there are opportunities for improvement.”!!! Again this was you Jack, kindly helping me to improve my writing. We have written many publications together since then, but I will always remember the door you opened to me in Lewellen, Peters and Howard.
At your 2002 “retirement” dinner I alluded to an acknowledgement Pablo Debenedetti wrote in his 1995 book Metastable Liquids Concepts and Principles. The exact quote is: “My father taught me the importance of working hard, having clear goals, and thinking rationally. It is a lesson that guides me to this day.” Jack, in this sense you have been a father to me, not only because you have taught me the importance of these very same qualities, but because of how you have taught me, by working together one-on-one and by bringing me into the “home” of your research group. There you extended me the privileges of learning from, and collaborating with you in research, in developing new research initiatives, and in supervising students and post docs.
I hope the following assurances of God’s love and faithfulness will encourage you:
“Let your steadfast love comfort me according to your promise to your servant.” Psalm 119: 76.
“For I, the Lord your God, hold your right hand; it is I who say to you, ‘Fear not, I am the one who helps you.’” Isaiah 41: 13.
“do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4: 6, 7.
“But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one.” 2 Thessalonians 3: 3.
Jack, John 14 is one of my favorite Bible chapters. In verse 27 The Lord Jesus says:
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.”
Jack, thank you for all of you have done for me professionally and personally for the past third of a century. I know you have always been there to provide fair and wise counsel. If Rosie or I can do anything at all to assist you, Carolyn, Courtenay, Jonathan and Megan, please let us know.
God bless you,
Bill
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