UPDATES June 11, 2008

UPDATES
June 9, 2008

Spring is in full bloom and if I didn’t realize where we are, I would think we were firmly planted back in the South based on the weather. We have been having Southern summer-like weather for a few days now. Most New Englanders think I am crazy but I love it. It brings me back to my roots.

We have been having some issues with Jack recently. About 2 weeks ago, after a particularly busy day, he became immobilized. He could not stand up or walk. After help from Jonathan, we were able to get him to the bathroom and to bed. The next day, Jack slept most of the day and was very confused. As I have mentioned in the past, breakfast is Jack’s most important meal, especially mentally. On that particular day, he called me at 5:00 PM to ask me why he was being given snack food instead of his usual breakfast. Why had I not told him there was a big change in the schedule. I told him that he was confused but that he could eat breakfast anytime he wanted. He got breakfast for the second time that day.

As a result of this event, I contacted his Dr. who ordered a MRI for last week instead of the end of June. The news came back that Jack’s cancer has spread to the other side of his brain. It has moved to the part of his brain that controls his ability to walk. He will likely lose his ability to walk over the next weeks. Jack and I were prepared for this information since we have observed him walking slower and having less energy. He told Jonathan yesterday that he is just so tired.

As Jack and I discussed the inevitable of this disease, he said he was so glad it was him instead of me because he feels that I can better handle the family better than him. I assured him that my abilities are only part of a team that we have been for 39 years. The Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord. Jack said last week that the best part of getting weaker and weaker is that he is getting closer and closer to the Lord. There is great comfort in this knowledge. We covet your prayers as the Lord closes out Jack’s earthly life and as he prepares for his eternal rest.

The caregivers have changed again. The law student did not work out. We began with another woman, Donna, who could not do the job. She lasted 2 days. Annette wanted to come back but only on days. She is willing to stay over if I need to be out of town. We are very happy to have her back. She is very competent. We work well together. After 5 children, nothing disturbs her.
She is willing and ready to provide us with excellent care and most importantly, trustworthy care. We are thankful for her return. She leaves at 7:00 PM. We can have a family dinner together. After dinner, I either read to Jack or we watch some television. I then help him get to bed. We have adjusted. Someone recently invited me to participate in a fitness center for a boot camp experience. I wrote back that I was already enrolled in boot camp. I am most grateful that I am able to do some of Jack’s care. We laugh, we cry, we enjoy each moment together.

We continue to enjoy the beautiful weather. I have had Jack either sitting on our screened porch or in his wheelchair outside while I dig in the dirt and work in our garden. There is nothing more healing for me than to dig in the dirt for hours on end. The work gives almost instant gratification. Anytime, you want to walk through the garden, please stop by and enjoy. It is really beautiful this time of year. It wraps around the house and is always a work in process. Let me know if you like to dig in the dirt, there is always a job to do.

As we prepare for the last phase of this illness, we continue to covet your prayers for us. It is difficult to imagine the next book in my life since Jack has been the main character in my life for two thirds of it. We are both submitted to the Lord in this challenge and will continue to trust Him for his care, love, and provision.

Jack and I have a favorite hymn that we grew up singing. The title is “It is Well with my Soul”.

“When peace like a river attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll:
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
‘It is well, It is well with my soul.’

Though Satan should buffet, tho’ trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

And, Lord, haste the day when the faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll,
The trump shall resound and the Lord shall descend,
Even so – it is well with my soul.

It is well with my soul,
It is well, it is well with my soul.”

Blessings,
Carolyn