UPDATES June 28, 2008

UPDATES
June 28, 2008

Jack was moved on Wednesday to the MIT medical infirmary to a hospice setting. He has declined tremendously over the last week gradually losing his ability to walk or transfer. It became a dangerous situation for Jack, as well as the caregivers and myself. With his doctors, we decided that he needed much more care.

He sleeps a lot now but still recognizes each person that he sees and acknowledges them by name. He is very agitated and restless. They are giving him medication to make him more comfortable. His primary care physician told us yesterday that he likely has only about 2 weeks left. My hope and prayer is that the Lord will take him quickly since Jack is so uncomfortable now.

Jack was scheduled to give his testimony at church tomorrow. Since he is unable to do it, I will be doing it for him. I have included it as part of the blog.

We continue to desire your prayers and care.

Blessings,
Carolyn and family



TESTIMONY
June 29, 2008


Over the years, we have been concerned that we were not effective in speaking of our love for the Lord as much as we should. At one point, I wrote a dear pastor who is a family friend with this concern. His reply has always been an encouragement to me. It was “Carolyn, if you are one of His, it will leak out somewhere.”

Last August 22, 2007, the Lord gave us a very special opportunity. Jack and I have been enormously touched by the Lord with the abundance of Himself as He drew us near to Him over our lives individually and together. All of the events of our lives have been divine gifts, even this one that I am about to describe to you.

As I stand before you this morning, Jack is in a much more weakened condition in the MIT medical infirmary. He had been so hopeful, with much planning, that he could be here to give our testimony. He truly wanted to share how the Lord has worked in his life even in his illness as well as our lives. To quote him from a recent comment, “the best part of getting weaker and weaker is that I am getting closer and closer to the Lord.” As he is listening on the radio with his brother, Keith by his side, I bring our feeble words of hope to all of you, especially to our children, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan.

Jack and I have been working for many years, enjoying our lives together and our children, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan (our daughter-in-law). Last summer after 2 major falls and some minor difficulty using his left hand, Jack consulted his doctor at MIT. He was sent immediately to MGH for tests. The results came back that they had found a mass the size of a racket ball in the right frontal lobe of his brain. They needed to do more scans and tests to determine what it was. The results came back that he had grade 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer, the most aggressive type of brain cancer. They determined it was inoperable due to the location – surgery would likely create left side paralysis (the treatment did instead). On that first day, when the doctors first told us about the mass in Jack’s brain, I personally felt physically ill and numb. I felt a strong need to throw up. The sensation in my body was riveting. Over the weeks and months of this disease, I have experienced much emotional and physical pain. My heart felt like someone took it out, sliced it up and then jumped on it. I have developed a chronic problem with my hands that no one can figure out. My inability to sleep at times has been debilitating. Initially, I had tremendous difficulty even being in our home. I saw Jack everywhere in my mind. However, in spite of my physical response which has continued over the last 10 months to create several health issues for me as Jack’s wife, the Lord was and is so clearly with us as I am about to describe.

From the first day of the news, the Lord gave us a very special peace and strength. I Tim 1:12 came to mind – “We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
At the first mention of the brain mass, we immediately responded by talking about no bad outcomes here – if Jack survives, we can continue our earthly walk with our Lord and each other. If Jack does not survive he will be with the Lord in glory worshipping Him forever, perfectly. Psalm 112:7 came to mind for us – “He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look with triumph on his foes.”

As we discussed the events and the days ahead, we were blessed with the realization that the Lord had placed His special hand on us once again – first in drawing us to Himself and now an opportunity to proclaim Him. This experience truly was a ministry opportunity for us that as I said to my mother, we cannot blow. To quote Jack, "many people do not have the opportunity to see this much beauty and majesty in their lives. I feel very content, my cup runs over.”

This moment in time was our ministry moment. Our primary goals in this trial were and are as follows:

1. Exalt and bring honor to our Lord in each step of the journey.
2. Acknowledge Him to all people that we encounter along the way.
3. Trust the Lord for His care and provision for us.
4. Pray for submission to His will in our lives.

We thought of Paul in Romans 8:18
“For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

We can speak of our Lord in our lives but the world is truly watching during a trial such as this one. They begin to measure ones words with the action that they see. So as we have journeyed this course from the treatments, surgeries, recoveries, side effects of the treatments, and the disease itself, the Lord has carried us into the arms of caregivers who have prayed with us and for us, into the legions of prayers that have gone up all over the world from family to Jack’s former MIT students, colleagues, and friends that we have or have made in our life’s journey. We have received letters, cards, emails, and comments on our website from people that we have never heard of from all over this country. They are all marching with us during this last phase of Jack’s life. The Lord has made the experience breathtaking as we experience His hand on our lives. The Lord has truly supplied all of our needs; from caregivers from Haiti, Uganda, Kenya, and Zimbabwe to the meals that have been given to us when I thought, “Oh me, what is going to be for dinner?” We have been touched by others who are also afflicted. We have experienced joy, sadness, laughter, tears, love, prayer, hugs, support and genuine outpourings from so many such as yourselves. From 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him…..And so we will be the Lord forever.”

Jack’s impact on his students and colleagues at MIT over the years has been amazing. Jack’s regret recently has been that he was not more vocal about His love for the Lord and the Lord’s love for him. I have tried to encourage Jack by telling him that some people walk with the Lord as evidenced by their lives. Others do the talking or the Lord gives a new opportunity to talk which He has done for us. There have many letters, cards, and emails that have encouraged Jack in this regard. A recent card from a MIT colleague commented that “one of the reasons she had stayed at MIT over the years brought to mind Jack – as the prototypical ‘force of all things good’ that lifts up everyone around them. To quote her – “Even though my research area did not overlap with Jack’s, he had a powerful influence on me during our years together in the Chemical Engineering Department. Yes, he set a high standard for brilliance and hard work, but most importantly, for collegiality and general wisdom about how to live life well, and how to treat others around you. I got to know Jack at a time when I was a bit lost in many aspects of life and his incredible devotion to family and God helped me find my way back to church and to Christ. In your blog, you bring faith in the Lord to life in the most amazing, inspirational manner, it is such a beautiful testament.” What an encouragement this card was to us at a time when it felt that we had been forgotten. We praise our Lord for each and every moment we can proclaim Him whether through our website (www.howardupdates.blogspot.com), through the friends, family, and colleagues who share this time with us.

Jack’s cancer is progressing now – the likely final phase in his journey is quickly approaching. In John 15:16, our Lord says: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit –fruit that will last.” Our prayer is that in this difficult journey that so many of you are sharing with us that the Lord produces the fruit that will last. “Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” We have asked for opportunity to exalt and praise our King and Lord and talk about His care for us throughout this time in our lives and particularly at this time. Our prayers have been and are continuing to be answered.
There are several verses that I want to close with that have provided sustenance and encouragement to us. They are as follows:
Rom 8:28-32 – “And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified. What shall we say in response to this? If God be for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all – how will he not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?”
What then can we say?
Psalm 91:2 – “I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”
Psalm 70:4-5 – But may all who seek you, rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted.” Yet I am poor and needy, come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer, O Lord, do not delay.”

And now to all of you who have been prayer warriors with us and for us I say as Paul spoke to the Phillipians in 4:4-9
“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
I want to close with Jack’s words to Courtenay on Thursday evening as she put her hand on him to tell him how much she loves him – he took her hand and looked at her, barely able to speak and quoted from Proverbs 3:5
“Honey, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
I want to add vs. 6
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
And lastly:
Eph 1:6
“To the praise of the glory of his grace wherein He has made us accepted in the beloved.”

AMEN!