Linda is a colleague of Jack's and was with Jack in an office suite at MIT for several years. She grew up in Georgia and is growing Magnolia Grandiflora in Cambridge, MA, a miracle in and of itself.
Her email yesterday after visiting Jack.
Dear Carolyn,
I have been following the blog - its beautiful - and visited Jack this morning briefly and he seemed to recognize me and said hello. The nurses were awesome in helping us interact in the best way possible.
My southern magnolia miraculously started blooming this week, so I cut the bloom this morning and took it in for you as a little piece of the South up here in New England. This flower was the 3rd of the summer and each one is a little miracle (to me) as it reminds me of God's beauty. It will probably have more blooms over the rest of the week/weekend and I can bring one in to Jack every day it blooms, if that would be at all meaningful to you (there are about 6-8 more buds on the little tree I have in my yard).
With love, Linda
Linda G. GriffithS.E.T.I. Professor of Biological and Mechanical EngineeringDirector, Biotech/Pharma Engineering CenterMIT 16-42977 Massachusetts Ave.Cambridge, MA 02139617-253-0013fax 617-253-2400http://web.mit.edu/lgglab/index.html
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Message from Jack's colleague Tom Bowman
Please listen the Psalm 23 on the link that Tom provided.
Carolyn
> From: "Tom Bowman" <ctbowman@stanford.edu>> To: "Carolyn Howard" <chowardcfp@comcast.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2008 1:03 PM> Subject: Jack>>>>
Carolyn,
I was saddened to see the latest news about Jack on your web site. My mind immediately went to my favorite Psalm, the 23rd, which is a clear reminder that the Lord is always with us. The web site below has a beautiful rendition of this psalm from the KJV bible. I look at it often; I hope you find it comforting as well.
Tom
http://www.interviewwithgod.com/psalm23.htm
Carolyn
> From: "Tom Bowman" <ctbowman@stanford.edu>> To: "Carolyn Howard" <chowardcfp@comcast.net>> Sent: Tuesday, July 01, 2008 1:03 PM> Subject: Jack>>>>
Carolyn,
I was saddened to see the latest news about Jack on your web site. My mind immediately went to my favorite Psalm, the 23rd, which is a clear reminder that the Lord is always with us. The web site below has a beautiful rendition of this psalm from the KJV bible. I look at it often; I hope you find it comforting as well.
Tom
http://www.interviewwithgod.com/psalm23.htm
Email from Phil Westmoreland July 3, 2008
Dear Carolyn,
I saw this morning's blog entry. We're thinking of you all and praying for your strength and comfort.This weekend, I went by the infirmary first on Saturday about 11 am. Jack was sleeping, but Viktor and Jack's brother Keith and I talked awhile. I went back by Saturday night and last night, each time having about a 30-min visit with him. Saturday night, he was floating in and out but could talk haltingly a little, so I insisted on doing most of the talking. Not hard for a professor!He was not very intelligible Sunday night at all, but he was able to communicate that he needed some water and I gave it to him. When I left, I told him how good it was to see him and he said quite clearly, "It's always good to see you, Phil."
Before I left Cambridge Monday morning, I went by again. Among other things, I told him I'd just been in contact with Adel Sarofim about a soot paper in progress, and he smiled in appreciation. I showed him some of our family pictures on the laptop, and he asked where "the children" are now and how Kathleen was, asking me to give her his best.Despite his physical decline, he is still hanging on to his awareness and endearing thoughtfulness.
Phil--
Prof. Phillip R. WestmorelandDept of Chemical Engineering, Univ of Massachusetts Amherst157A Goessmann; 686 N Pleasant; Amherst MA 01003-9303413-545-1750 (Sect'y at -2507), eFAX 775-254-2509http://www.ecs.umass.edu/che/faculty/westmoreland.html[On leave, serving as:Program Director; Combustion, Fire, and Plasma SystemsNational Science Foundation4201 Wilson Blvd, Arlington VA 22230703-292-8371; FAX 703-292-9054 ]
I saw this morning's blog entry. We're thinking of you all and praying for your strength and comfort.This weekend, I went by the infirmary first on Saturday about 11 am. Jack was sleeping, but Viktor and Jack's brother Keith and I talked awhile. I went back by Saturday night and last night, each time having about a 30-min visit with him. Saturday night, he was floating in and out but could talk haltingly a little, so I insisted on doing most of the talking. Not hard for a professor!He was not very intelligible Sunday night at all, but he was able to communicate that he needed some water and I gave it to him. When I left, I told him how good it was to see him and he said quite clearly, "It's always good to see you, Phil."
Before I left Cambridge Monday morning, I went by again. Among other things, I told him I'd just been in contact with Adel Sarofim about a soot paper in progress, and he smiled in appreciation. I showed him some of our family pictures on the laptop, and he asked where "the children" are now and how Kathleen was, asking me to give her his best.Despite his physical decline, he is still hanging on to his awareness and endearing thoughtfulness.
Phil--
Prof. Phillip R. WestmorelandDept of Chemical Engineering, Univ of Massachusetts Amherst157A Goessmann; 686 N Pleasant; Amherst MA 01003-9303413-545-1750 (Sect'y at -2507), eFAX 775-254-2509http://www.ecs.umass.edu/che/faculty/westmoreland.html[On leave, serving as:Program Director; Combustion, Fire, and Plasma SystemsNational Science Foundation4201 Wilson Blvd, Arlington VA 22230703-292-8371; FAX 703-292-9054 ]
UPDATES July 3, 2008
UPDATES
July 3, 2008
Jack remains about the same. He is still conscious but is sleeping more. He lets us know if he is uncomfortable and needs something. Jack continues to have many people come and see him and speak to him. He acknowledges them by name and seems happy that they have come by.
Last evening he ate a small amount of applesauce and drank some buttermilk which we had to go out and get since he was out of the quart I had brought in. His heart rate is still strong. Last evening after eating and drinking, he told me that he was having difficulty breathing. The nurses had kept him upright in his bed until they were comfortable that his food had gone down which they said was likely causing some pressure on his lungs. After a few minutes we lowered him and he seemed more comfortable.
Last week his doctor told us that he would likely last about a week after he stops eating. I think that for all purposes, he has essentially stopped eating now. We are truly on our Lord’s time table and we rest with that.
My sister, Suzanne, arrived yesterday and will be with us as long as necessary but at least for 3 weeks. Myra’s daughter, Michele and her son Jared, along with Jack’s younger sister, Bess and her husband Roy, arrive tomorrow to see Jack.
Each day seems too short for us yet closer and closer to Jack’s presence with our beloved Lord.
Have a day that brings honor to our Lord, proclaim in all ways for His glory.
Carolyn and family
July 3, 2008
Jack remains about the same. He is still conscious but is sleeping more. He lets us know if he is uncomfortable and needs something. Jack continues to have many people come and see him and speak to him. He acknowledges them by name and seems happy that they have come by.
Last evening he ate a small amount of applesauce and drank some buttermilk which we had to go out and get since he was out of the quart I had brought in. His heart rate is still strong. Last evening after eating and drinking, he told me that he was having difficulty breathing. The nurses had kept him upright in his bed until they were comfortable that his food had gone down which they said was likely causing some pressure on his lungs. After a few minutes we lowered him and he seemed more comfortable.
Last week his doctor told us that he would likely last about a week after he stops eating. I think that for all purposes, he has essentially stopped eating now. We are truly on our Lord’s time table and we rest with that.
My sister, Suzanne, arrived yesterday and will be with us as long as necessary but at least for 3 weeks. Myra’s daughter, Michele and her son Jared, along with Jack’s younger sister, Bess and her husband Roy, arrive tomorrow to see Jack.
Each day seems too short for us yet closer and closer to Jack’s presence with our beloved Lord.
Have a day that brings honor to our Lord, proclaim in all ways for His glory.
Carolyn and family
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
UPDATE July 2, 2008
UPDATE
July 2, 2008
I spoke with the nurses when I got up this morning. Jack had a restful night and had wanted a glass of buttermilk, one of his favorite Southern drinks. He drank about ¾ of a cup. He stopped eating yesterday so per the doctor will likely not last long now.
His Dr. said he had never seen anything quite like this before. Last evening when Dr. Kettyle checked on him, Jack told him that he woke him up (Jack’s voice is barely audible now) but thanked him for checking on him. Jack told him he had no pain and that he was comfortable.
Yesterday, Myra, Jack’s sister, and I were talking to him as we stood by his bed. He looked up and feebly said, “Double Trouble” and then laughed.
He is comfortable. He has had many people visiting and bidding him goodbye. He is content – his and our cups runneth over thanks be to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Love,
Carolyn and family
July 2, 2008
I spoke with the nurses when I got up this morning. Jack had a restful night and had wanted a glass of buttermilk, one of his favorite Southern drinks. He drank about ¾ of a cup. He stopped eating yesterday so per the doctor will likely not last long now.
His Dr. said he had never seen anything quite like this before. Last evening when Dr. Kettyle checked on him, Jack told him that he woke him up (Jack’s voice is barely audible now) but thanked him for checking on him. Jack told him he had no pain and that he was comfortable.
Yesterday, Myra, Jack’s sister, and I were talking to him as we stood by his bed. He looked up and feebly said, “Double Trouble” and then laughed.
He is comfortable. He has had many people visiting and bidding him goodbye. He is content – his and our cups runneth over thanks be to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Love,
Carolyn and family
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
UPDATES July 1, 2008
UPDATES
July 1, 2008
Jack is continuing to decline. He took a significant downturn yesterday with a change in breathing and eating. He was not responsive at all yesterday morning but woke up briefly yesterday afternoon coupled with wanting something to eat last evening.
I fed him chicken noodle soup, some watermelon mashed up, and jello. He ate all of it but was very exhausted by the process. He can barely speak at this point. He is no longer on any of his medications. The breathing change is a result of the brain stem swelling per the Doctor.
Jack’s sister, Myra, arrived yesterday. My sister, Suzanne, arrives tomorrow. We continue to covet your prayers that the Lord will sustain us and grant Jack a peaceful death and into the arms of his beloved Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ. Our confidence is not in this flesh but in Christ, who alone is worthy to be praised.
For those of you who may be wondering, after Jack’s passing away, we will plan to have a memorial service in Boston about two weeks from his time of death to allow anyone that may want to attend to get here. We plan to have another service in KY the second weekend in September which coincides with Jack’s Mother’s family reunion. With many family members and friends in KY, we feel that it is important to share and celebrate what Jack has given all of us over the years. Jack will be buried in Skaggs Creek Cementery which is very near the farm he grew up on. Burial will be private.
Thank you and blessings to all of you who have traveled this journey with us. We are thankful for all of you.
Blessings,
Carolyn
July 1, 2008
Jack is continuing to decline. He took a significant downturn yesterday with a change in breathing and eating. He was not responsive at all yesterday morning but woke up briefly yesterday afternoon coupled with wanting something to eat last evening.
I fed him chicken noodle soup, some watermelon mashed up, and jello. He ate all of it but was very exhausted by the process. He can barely speak at this point. He is no longer on any of his medications. The breathing change is a result of the brain stem swelling per the Doctor.
Jack’s sister, Myra, arrived yesterday. My sister, Suzanne, arrives tomorrow. We continue to covet your prayers that the Lord will sustain us and grant Jack a peaceful death and into the arms of his beloved Savior, our Lord Jesus Christ. Our confidence is not in this flesh but in Christ, who alone is worthy to be praised.
For those of you who may be wondering, after Jack’s passing away, we will plan to have a memorial service in Boston about two weeks from his time of death to allow anyone that may want to attend to get here. We plan to have another service in KY the second weekend in September which coincides with Jack’s Mother’s family reunion. With many family members and friends in KY, we feel that it is important to share and celebrate what Jack has given all of us over the years. Jack will be buried in Skaggs Creek Cementery which is very near the farm he grew up on. Burial will be private.
Thank you and blessings to all of you who have traveled this journey with us. We are thankful for all of you.
Blessings,
Carolyn
Saturday, June 28, 2008
UPDATES June 28, 2008
UPDATES
June 28, 2008
Jack was moved on Wednesday to the MIT medical infirmary to a hospice setting. He has declined tremendously over the last week gradually losing his ability to walk or transfer. It became a dangerous situation for Jack, as well as the caregivers and myself. With his doctors, we decided that he needed much more care.
He sleeps a lot now but still recognizes each person that he sees and acknowledges them by name. He is very agitated and restless. They are giving him medication to make him more comfortable. His primary care physician told us yesterday that he likely has only about 2 weeks left. My hope and prayer is that the Lord will take him quickly since Jack is so uncomfortable now.
Jack was scheduled to give his testimony at church tomorrow. Since he is unable to do it, I will be doing it for him. I have included it as part of the blog.
We continue to desire your prayers and care.
Blessings,
Carolyn and family
TESTIMONY
June 29, 2008
Over the years, we have been concerned that we were not effective in speaking of our love for the Lord as much as we should. At one point, I wrote a dear pastor who is a family friend with this concern. His reply has always been an encouragement to me. It was “Carolyn, if you are one of His, it will leak out somewhere.”
Last August 22, 2007, the Lord gave us a very special opportunity. Jack and I have been enormously touched by the Lord with the abundance of Himself as He drew us near to Him over our lives individually and together. All of the events of our lives have been divine gifts, even this one that I am about to describe to you.
As I stand before you this morning, Jack is in a much more weakened condition in the MIT medical infirmary. He had been so hopeful, with much planning, that he could be here to give our testimony. He truly wanted to share how the Lord has worked in his life even in his illness as well as our lives. To quote him from a recent comment, “the best part of getting weaker and weaker is that I am getting closer and closer to the Lord.” As he is listening on the radio with his brother, Keith by his side, I bring our feeble words of hope to all of you, especially to our children, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan.
Jack and I have been working for many years, enjoying our lives together and our children, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan (our daughter-in-law). Last summer after 2 major falls and some minor difficulty using his left hand, Jack consulted his doctor at MIT. He was sent immediately to MGH for tests. The results came back that they had found a mass the size of a racket ball in the right frontal lobe of his brain. They needed to do more scans and tests to determine what it was. The results came back that he had grade 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer, the most aggressive type of brain cancer. They determined it was inoperable due to the location – surgery would likely create left side paralysis (the treatment did instead). On that first day, when the doctors first told us about the mass in Jack’s brain, I personally felt physically ill and numb. I felt a strong need to throw up. The sensation in my body was riveting. Over the weeks and months of this disease, I have experienced much emotional and physical pain. My heart felt like someone took it out, sliced it up and then jumped on it. I have developed a chronic problem with my hands that no one can figure out. My inability to sleep at times has been debilitating. Initially, I had tremendous difficulty even being in our home. I saw Jack everywhere in my mind. However, in spite of my physical response which has continued over the last 10 months to create several health issues for me as Jack’s wife, the Lord was and is so clearly with us as I am about to describe.
From the first day of the news, the Lord gave us a very special peace and strength. I Tim 1:12 came to mind – “We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
At the first mention of the brain mass, we immediately responded by talking about no bad outcomes here – if Jack survives, we can continue our earthly walk with our Lord and each other. If Jack does not survive he will be with the Lord in glory worshipping Him forever, perfectly. Psalm 112:7 came to mind for us – “He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look with triumph on his foes.”
As we discussed the events and the days ahead, we were blessed with the realization that the Lord had placed His special hand on us once again – first in drawing us to Himself and now an opportunity to proclaim Him. This experience truly was a ministry opportunity for us that as I said to my mother, we cannot blow. To quote Jack, "many people do not have the opportunity to see this much beauty and majesty in their lives. I feel very content, my cup runs over.”
This moment in time was our ministry moment. Our primary goals in this trial were and are as follows:
1. Exalt and bring honor to our Lord in each step of the journey.
2. Acknowledge Him to all people that we encounter along the way.
3. Trust the Lord for His care and provision for us.
4. Pray for submission to His will in our lives.
We thought of Paul in Romans 8:18
“For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
We can speak of our Lord in our lives but the world is truly watching during a trial such as this one. They begin to measure ones words with the action that they see. So as we have journeyed this course from the treatments, surgeries, recoveries, side effects of the treatments, and the disease itself, the Lord has carried us into the arms of caregivers who have prayed with us and for us, into the legions of prayers that have gone up all over the world from family to Jack’s former MIT students, colleagues, and friends that we have or have made in our life’s journey. We have received letters, cards, emails, and comments on our website from people that we have never heard of from all over this country. They are all marching with us during this last phase of Jack’s life. The Lord has made the experience breathtaking as we experience His hand on our lives. The Lord has truly supplied all of our needs; from caregivers from Haiti, Uganda, Kenya, and Zimbabwe to the meals that have been given to us when I thought, “Oh me, what is going to be for dinner?” We have been touched by others who are also afflicted. We have experienced joy, sadness, laughter, tears, love, prayer, hugs, support and genuine outpourings from so many such as yourselves. From 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him…..And so we will be the Lord forever.”
Jack’s impact on his students and colleagues at MIT over the years has been amazing. Jack’s regret recently has been that he was not more vocal about His love for the Lord and the Lord’s love for him. I have tried to encourage Jack by telling him that some people walk with the Lord as evidenced by their lives. Others do the talking or the Lord gives a new opportunity to talk which He has done for us. There have many letters, cards, and emails that have encouraged Jack in this regard. A recent card from a MIT colleague commented that “one of the reasons she had stayed at MIT over the years brought to mind Jack – as the prototypical ‘force of all things good’ that lifts up everyone around them. To quote her – “Even though my research area did not overlap with Jack’s, he had a powerful influence on me during our years together in the Chemical Engineering Department. Yes, he set a high standard for brilliance and hard work, but most importantly, for collegiality and general wisdom about how to live life well, and how to treat others around you. I got to know Jack at a time when I was a bit lost in many aspects of life and his incredible devotion to family and God helped me find my way back to church and to Christ. In your blog, you bring faith in the Lord to life in the most amazing, inspirational manner, it is such a beautiful testament.” What an encouragement this card was to us at a time when it felt that we had been forgotten. We praise our Lord for each and every moment we can proclaim Him whether through our website (www.howardupdates.blogspot.com), through the friends, family, and colleagues who share this time with us.
Jack’s cancer is progressing now – the likely final phase in his journey is quickly approaching. In John 15:16, our Lord says: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit –fruit that will last.” Our prayer is that in this difficult journey that so many of you are sharing with us that the Lord produces the fruit that will last. “Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” We have asked for opportunity to exalt and praise our King and Lord and talk about His care for us throughout this time in our lives and particularly at this time. Our prayers have been and are continuing to be answered.
There are several verses that I want to close with that have provided sustenance and encouragement to us. They are as follows:
Rom 8:28-32 – “And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified. What shall we say in response to this? If God be for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all – how will he not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?”
What then can we say?
Psalm 91:2 – “I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”
Psalm 70:4-5 – But may all who seek you, rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted.” Yet I am poor and needy, come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer, O Lord, do not delay.”
And now to all of you who have been prayer warriors with us and for us I say as Paul spoke to the Phillipians in 4:4-9
“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
I want to close with Jack’s words to Courtenay on Thursday evening as she put her hand on him to tell him how much she loves him – he took her hand and looked at her, barely able to speak and quoted from Proverbs 3:5
“Honey, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
I want to add vs. 6
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
And lastly:
Eph 1:6
“To the praise of the glory of his grace wherein He has made us accepted in the beloved.”
AMEN!
June 28, 2008
Jack was moved on Wednesday to the MIT medical infirmary to a hospice setting. He has declined tremendously over the last week gradually losing his ability to walk or transfer. It became a dangerous situation for Jack, as well as the caregivers and myself. With his doctors, we decided that he needed much more care.
He sleeps a lot now but still recognizes each person that he sees and acknowledges them by name. He is very agitated and restless. They are giving him medication to make him more comfortable. His primary care physician told us yesterday that he likely has only about 2 weeks left. My hope and prayer is that the Lord will take him quickly since Jack is so uncomfortable now.
Jack was scheduled to give his testimony at church tomorrow. Since he is unable to do it, I will be doing it for him. I have included it as part of the blog.
We continue to desire your prayers and care.
Blessings,
Carolyn and family
TESTIMONY
June 29, 2008
Over the years, we have been concerned that we were not effective in speaking of our love for the Lord as much as we should. At one point, I wrote a dear pastor who is a family friend with this concern. His reply has always been an encouragement to me. It was “Carolyn, if you are one of His, it will leak out somewhere.”
Last August 22, 2007, the Lord gave us a very special opportunity. Jack and I have been enormously touched by the Lord with the abundance of Himself as He drew us near to Him over our lives individually and together. All of the events of our lives have been divine gifts, even this one that I am about to describe to you.
As I stand before you this morning, Jack is in a much more weakened condition in the MIT medical infirmary. He had been so hopeful, with much planning, that he could be here to give our testimony. He truly wanted to share how the Lord has worked in his life even in his illness as well as our lives. To quote him from a recent comment, “the best part of getting weaker and weaker is that I am getting closer and closer to the Lord.” As he is listening on the radio with his brother, Keith by his side, I bring our feeble words of hope to all of you, especially to our children, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan.
Jack and I have been working for many years, enjoying our lives together and our children, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan (our daughter-in-law). Last summer after 2 major falls and some minor difficulty using his left hand, Jack consulted his doctor at MIT. He was sent immediately to MGH for tests. The results came back that they had found a mass the size of a racket ball in the right frontal lobe of his brain. They needed to do more scans and tests to determine what it was. The results came back that he had grade 4 Glioblastoma brain cancer, the most aggressive type of brain cancer. They determined it was inoperable due to the location – surgery would likely create left side paralysis (the treatment did instead). On that first day, when the doctors first told us about the mass in Jack’s brain, I personally felt physically ill and numb. I felt a strong need to throw up. The sensation in my body was riveting. Over the weeks and months of this disease, I have experienced much emotional and physical pain. My heart felt like someone took it out, sliced it up and then jumped on it. I have developed a chronic problem with my hands that no one can figure out. My inability to sleep at times has been debilitating. Initially, I had tremendous difficulty even being in our home. I saw Jack everywhere in my mind. However, in spite of my physical response which has continued over the last 10 months to create several health issues for me as Jack’s wife, the Lord was and is so clearly with us as I am about to describe.
From the first day of the news, the Lord gave us a very special peace and strength. I Tim 1:12 came to mind – “We pray this so that the name of our Lord Jesus may be glorified in you, and you in Him, according to the grace of our God and the Lord Jesus Christ.”
At the first mention of the brain mass, we immediately responded by talking about no bad outcomes here – if Jack survives, we can continue our earthly walk with our Lord and each other. If Jack does not survive he will be with the Lord in glory worshipping Him forever, perfectly. Psalm 112:7 came to mind for us – “He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord. His heart is secure, he will have no fear; in the end he will look with triumph on his foes.”
As we discussed the events and the days ahead, we were blessed with the realization that the Lord had placed His special hand on us once again – first in drawing us to Himself and now an opportunity to proclaim Him. This experience truly was a ministry opportunity for us that as I said to my mother, we cannot blow. To quote Jack, "many people do not have the opportunity to see this much beauty and majesty in their lives. I feel very content, my cup runs over.”
This moment in time was our ministry moment. Our primary goals in this trial were and are as follows:
1. Exalt and bring honor to our Lord in each step of the journey.
2. Acknowledge Him to all people that we encounter along the way.
3. Trust the Lord for His care and provision for us.
4. Pray for submission to His will in our lives.
We thought of Paul in Romans 8:18
“For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”
We can speak of our Lord in our lives but the world is truly watching during a trial such as this one. They begin to measure ones words with the action that they see. So as we have journeyed this course from the treatments, surgeries, recoveries, side effects of the treatments, and the disease itself, the Lord has carried us into the arms of caregivers who have prayed with us and for us, into the legions of prayers that have gone up all over the world from family to Jack’s former MIT students, colleagues, and friends that we have or have made in our life’s journey. We have received letters, cards, emails, and comments on our website from people that we have never heard of from all over this country. They are all marching with us during this last phase of Jack’s life. The Lord has made the experience breathtaking as we experience His hand on our lives. The Lord has truly supplied all of our needs; from caregivers from Haiti, Uganda, Kenya, and Zimbabwe to the meals that have been given to us when I thought, “Oh me, what is going to be for dinner?” We have been touched by others who are also afflicted. We have experienced joy, sadness, laughter, tears, love, prayer, hugs, support and genuine outpourings from so many such as yourselves. From 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in Him…..And so we will be the Lord forever.”
Jack’s impact on his students and colleagues at MIT over the years has been amazing. Jack’s regret recently has been that he was not more vocal about His love for the Lord and the Lord’s love for him. I have tried to encourage Jack by telling him that some people walk with the Lord as evidenced by their lives. Others do the talking or the Lord gives a new opportunity to talk which He has done for us. There have many letters, cards, and emails that have encouraged Jack in this regard. A recent card from a MIT colleague commented that “one of the reasons she had stayed at MIT over the years brought to mind Jack – as the prototypical ‘force of all things good’ that lifts up everyone around them. To quote her – “Even though my research area did not overlap with Jack’s, he had a powerful influence on me during our years together in the Chemical Engineering Department. Yes, he set a high standard for brilliance and hard work, but most importantly, for collegiality and general wisdom about how to live life well, and how to treat others around you. I got to know Jack at a time when I was a bit lost in many aspects of life and his incredible devotion to family and God helped me find my way back to church and to Christ. In your blog, you bring faith in the Lord to life in the most amazing, inspirational manner, it is such a beautiful testament.” What an encouragement this card was to us at a time when it felt that we had been forgotten. We praise our Lord for each and every moment we can proclaim Him whether through our website (www.howardupdates.blogspot.com), through the friends, family, and colleagues who share this time with us.
Jack’s cancer is progressing now – the likely final phase in his journey is quickly approaching. In John 15:16, our Lord says: “You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear much fruit –fruit that will last.” Our prayer is that in this difficult journey that so many of you are sharing with us that the Lord produces the fruit that will last. “Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” We have asked for opportunity to exalt and praise our King and Lord and talk about His care for us throughout this time in our lives and particularly at this time. Our prayers have been and are continuing to be answered.
There are several verses that I want to close with that have provided sustenance and encouragement to us. They are as follows:
Rom 8:28-32 – “And we know that all things God works for the good of those who love love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified. What shall we say in response to this? If God be for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son but gave Him up for us all – how will he not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things?”
What then can we say?
Psalm 91:2 – “I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.’”
Psalm 70:4-5 – But may all who seek you, rejoice and be glad in you; may those who love your salvation always say, “Let God be exalted.” Yet I am poor and needy, come quickly to me, O God. You are my help and my deliverer, O Lord, do not delay.”
And now to all of you who have been prayer warriors with us and for us I say as Paul spoke to the Phillipians in 4:4-9
“Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice. Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me or seen in me put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
I want to close with Jack’s words to Courtenay on Thursday evening as she put her hand on him to tell him how much she loves him – he took her hand and looked at her, barely able to speak and quoted from Proverbs 3:5
“Honey, trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
I want to add vs. 6
“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
And lastly:
Eph 1:6
“To the praise of the glory of his grace wherein He has made us accepted in the beloved.”
AMEN!
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