Thursday, October 4, 2007

Update

If anyone knows someone that adds more hard drive to the human brain let me know. Mine is certainly getting slower and is on overload most of the time these days. However, 3 weeks later, I am usually on the correct page. This morning as I was preparing Jack’s daily drug cocktail, I started remembering that the chemotherapy, Temodar, will be taken for 42 continuous days. Even though Jack does not have radiation on the weekends, he is required to take the Temodar. I looked in the daily prepackaged bag that we were given. On each daily dose package, it clearly states that he is to take 1 tablet/day for 42 days. I then take out the remainder of the doses. Surprise, Surprise!!!! There are only 30 doses in the bag. We are in such a serious and precarious medical situation that it is most distressing that there is such sloppiness at one of the world’s great hospitals. It looks like we are going to have to play Carolyn and Doctors again. The biggest lesson to be learned here is that if anyone gets sick, you need an advocate that can digest and process what is going on; otherwise, the patient is most vulnerable. The other lesson to be learned is that we are all humans and even when there are teams of people involved, mistakes are made. We are truly a broken lot in need of divine healing more than anything which includes not only love but forgiveness to others as we have been forgiven.

We desire your prayers in the quagmire of medicine.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

Letter from Sergio Trindade

Dear Carolyn,

Helena and I learned today about Jack's illness.

Jack was my PhD thesis advisor during 1970-73! I enjoyed and benefited a lot from interacting with Jack during those years. I returned to Brazil in 1973 and then responding to an invitation from the United Nations came back to the US in 1986 to be the Assistant Secretary-General lfor Science and Technology. Even though I was based in New York, I have had limited opportunities to visit Boston. After leaving the UN I remained in New York, where I still reside.

But, when time came for the farewell event for Jack, Helena and I decided we would not miss the opportunity to visit with you and Jack. The Fine Arts party was awsome. The following day we took advantage of your generous hospitality and joined others to celebrate Jack at your home for lunch.

Helena and I have Jack, you and the Family in our prayers wishing Jack the best outcome.

Love,

Helena and Sergio C. Trindade

Letter from Rich Shandross

Dear Jack, Carolyn, Courtenay, Jonathan, and Megan,

You can bet that I'm offering to God all the prayers you are asking for, plus the ones you forgot to ask for - and then some!

I wish you all healing, strength, love, courage, and laughter.

It's in times like these that one feels so frustrated to be unable to write that equation, create that model, design that experiment, brainstorm that invention, find those words, or channel all the wishes and love and energy so that they can 'fix' the physical ailments - and right now! That is why your blog is so meaningful and inspirational and helpful: among all the things that it means to be human, it also means to accept that we are limited, and when we can that we are open to seeing the other wonderful and oh-so-important things that can happen - and are clearly happening for you.

Jack,

You are my mentor, "big brother," caring and wise "uncle," and a true and forever friend. Every time we sat down in your office at MIT and touched base with each other was for me a trip to the proverbial front porch, where time was often suspended and we could share our love of science and engineering, our families, how nutty the world seems at times, and a variety of challenges, big and small, that came our way. Maybe I stayed for nine years because subconciously I didn't want to stop having those great times together. :-) What sanity! I really enjoyed and appreciate how you lent your time and yourself to me, despite the pressures and demands of being no less than a senior, prodigious, and in-demand MIT professor.

People tell me that I'm a great technical and business writer. Well, that's because of you. Working with you on papers and reports, and getting your feedback on my thesis writing, was an eye-opening education in how to express myself clearly, unambiguously, and in a way that the reader can appreciate and enjoy. It's a ticket to excellence and to standing out in the greater world, and I can't thank you enough for that.

Equally, you have taught me so much about how to frame and solve problems, and how to pierce through confusion to the essence of a matter. You showed me what it truly means to be an engineer and a scientist.

Whether you realize it or not, you've also taught me what it means to be gracious and honorable and generous (...would that I always followed your example...;-) ), in what I can only imagine - being a Northerner - to be the "Southern gentlemanly" way. I remember the first days of your Kinetics class, first year of graduate school, and how "quirky" I found your humility, openness, and honesty. I quickly came to appreciate that what was happening is that you were showing respect for us students - imagine that! - and later saw how much respect you show everyone, always, and what an empowering thing that is for the people receiving that respect - not the least including me. You showed me by example how powerful, meaningful, and important it is to live as a beloved child of a loving and generous God.

If there is anything at all that I can do to help you and your family in this trying and challenging time, please do not hesitate to ask. It would be my joy and my honor to be able to do so, to share in your challenge as you have always shared in mine.

With lots of love and respect,

Rich

P.S. May I offer some Jewish prayers for health and strength that have helped me in times of need? -

A Prayer
May the Source of strength
Who blessed the ones before us
Help us find the courage
To make our lives a blessing,
And let us say: Amen.

Bless those in need of healing
With refuah shleima:
The renewal of body,
The renewal of spirit,
And let us say: Amen

I gratefully thank You, O living and eternal King, for You have returned my soul within me with compassion—abundant is Your faithfulness!
Prayer for the body
Blessed are You, our Eternal God, Creator of the Universe, who has made our bodies in wisdom, creating openings, arteries, glands, and organs marvelous in structure, intricate in design. Wondrous Fashioner and Sustainer of life, Source of our health and our strength, we give you thanks and praise.

Prayer for the soul
My God, the soul which You have placed within me is pure. You have created it, You will one day take it from me and restore it to me in time to come. So long as my soul is within me, I make acknowledgment before You, my God and God of all generations. Blessed are you, God who restores my soul each day that I may once again awaken.

Mi Sheberach
May the One who blessed our ancestors, Sarah and Abraham, Rebecca and Isaac, Leah, Rachel and Jacob bless Jack Howard, along with all of the ill among us. Grant insight to those who bring healing, courage and faith to those who are sick, love and strength to us and to all who love them. God, let your spirit rest upon all who are ill and comfort them. May they and we soon know a time of complete healing, a healing of the body and a healing of the spirit and let us say: Amen.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Letter from Adel Sarofim

Dear Caroline and Jack,

The Howard family is quite exceptional. Your collective response to Jack's brain tumor is truly inspirational. Under circumstances that would have driven most into despair you have instead shown a joyous celebration of life, love, and faith in God.

I have followed your and Jonathan’s blogs. I have printed these out for Leticia and Marion Longwell. Leticia has just received a printed a copy of your blog (through Sept 5) that I mailed her since she has yet to connect to the internet in Peru. I have also just sent her the update through September 25. Marion called a few days ago looking for Leticia and we chatted. I learned that she is suffering from macular degeneration. She can no longer read but relies on books on tapes. When I informed her of Jack’s condition she asked me to send her a copy of the blog which she will have some one read to her. She is in a retirement community in Silverdale, WA close to her daughter Ann.

I remember how I naively in a previous email to Caroline said that she would undoubtedly research the alternative treatments available to select the best for Jack. I did not appreciate at the time that the MGH capabilities are truly exceptional, with the large experienced faculty, and the long history in the use of LINAC for radiotherapy. But the Web descriptions do not tell the whole story. The miscues and negligent behavior by their staff would be farcical if they did not involve such serious health issues. It sounds, however, that they have learned who they are dealing with and that Caroline has taught them to toe the line.

It was heartening to follow Jack’s recovery from his biopsy through his discipline, hard work, and good humor. I trust that these same qualities will help him face the challenges of the radiation therapy that he is undergoing. His intellectual curiosity about his treatment reminds me of a visit to Prof. Hottel in a hospital outside York where he was recovering from a concussion resulting from his being hit by a taxi when he crossed the road looking the wrong way at the Tuesday outing at the Leeds Combustion Institute symposium. When I walked into his room, I found him studying X-Rays of his cranium trying to identify the point of contact from the crack propagation lines. Jack and Hoyt are from the same mold, given their technical brilliance, hard work, and intellectual curiosity even when directed at their own well being. It is knowing this that I am forwarding separately a description of Boron Neutron Capture Therapy that might stimulate Jack. There were clinical trials at MIT under the direction of Otto Harling whom Jack undoubtedly knew. I contacted Otto who informed me that although the trials at the MIT Nuclear Reactor have ended there were active programs in Finland and Japan. He forwarded reports on the Finnish trials that I am passing on to you in a separate email.

All your friends and colleagues are praying for Jack’s recovery. As Greg McRae said so articulately the world needs Jack to get well soon.

Adel

Letter from Bill Grieco

Carolyn—

You may recall that I was one of Jack’s graduate students in the mid- to late-90s. I just heard about Jack’s health situation from an MIT faculty member yesterday. Please know that all of you are in our thoughts. If there is anything that I can do, please let me know.

You should also know (and I hope that he does as well!) that Jack had a profound impact on me as a student and as an engineer. I can’t count the times when I’ve asked myself the question “What would JBH do in this situation?” to help guide me in facing technical, professional, and ethical issues. He has always been an excellent role model for his students and colleagues. As Jack commented in an email after a phone chat that he and I had in late June, we easily fell back into our old habits of long conversations and that it seemed like old times. My grad school memories will always be of my late day (and often early night…to the chagrin of my wife, Tonya) discussions with Jack when it seemed like we were trying to solve all the world’s problems. Really good times and great memories…

Know that we are with you.

Take care,
Bill

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Update

There are so many firsts in our lives right now that I have quit counting and just keep saying “it’s a first”.

Thankfully, we found a condo for Megan and Jonathan. Jonathan decided when we saw 5 Evergreen St. in Somerville that this place was going to be the gold standard by which to measure all other places. It was fairly priced; we made an offer, a counter offer came back, we came back and met them with a slightly increased offer that was accepted. It is a beautiful renovated town home in a 1900’s building with 2 other condos. They have a full basement that is immaculate with new hot water heater; furnace, etc with large windows that open. The first floor has a lovely living room; a large new kitchen and dining area and ½ bath with a new washer and dryer in the bathroom. The second floor has 3 bedrooms and 1 full bath. The third floor is a walkup attic that has huge refinishing potential. Jonathan can already see a work space for himself and Megan on that level. The ceilings are high; moldings intact; beautiful oak, newly finished hardwood floors; bay windows in dining room and one bedroom; and a beautiful staircase to the second floor. The living space is about 1600 sq. ft that does not include the basement and attic. For those of you in Boston, it looks like a townhouse on Beacon Hill in the inside layout. Their first choice was Somerville. It is in the Winter Hill area between Broadway and Highland Ave, near the Somerville Hospital. We are most thankful for the Lord opening this door for them and us. They had been thinking that it would be Thanksgiving before they would have a place to live.

Jack is experiencing the side effects of treatment. He has deteriorated in terms of his ability to be as independent as he would like. He is less stable on his feet. The Drs. had warned us that this would likely occur. I think it is discouraging to Jack. He had a very busy day today after his treatment. His physical therapist came as well as an occupational therapist for an evaluation. We also began have a person here at the house for a few hours to make sure he doesn’t fall while I am at work. We are so pleased with this lady. Her name is Simone. Jack told her he would let her know if he needed her. He will likely adjust to having someone nearby in spite of the fact that he would prefer to be alone. After his Saturday fall, I don’t trust him alone at this time. He is satisfied with my need in this regard. He also had our wonderful Tom Chacko come to the house for his weekly neuro-muscular massage.

By God’s grace we have come safe thus far. Jonathan’s visit was too short and the end of October is so far away it seems when he and Megan arrive in Boston, God willing. We have so much abundance in our lives that there is not enough time in the day to appreciate it all.

Jack’s 70th birthday is October 16. He will be 70. If any of you would like to send him a birthday card, I am sure he would enjoy it. I had hoped to celebrate this milestone in a different kind of way but instead I am thankful that we can have another birthday, God willing. Our lives are in His hands always.

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Update

We have now completed the first week (Tues-Friday) of the chemo and radiation therapy. I am most thankful to report that we have had a huge prayer answered. Jack has shown no signs of nausea with either treatment. He did not even take his anti-nausea pill on Friday or Saturday. He takes his chemo everyday (7 days/week) and radiation on Monday-Friday.

The Dr. predicted that the first week or two that Jack’s symptoms would likely get worse due to the swelling in the brain from the radiation. I would say that his walk has become more difficult the last couple of days. He actually walked on a non-paved path today and tripped and fell. He got some scratches and called Courtenay to come get him. This event is another first. Jack is so determined mentally but has not adjusted to his new body that doesn’t work so well. He does continue to be in good spirits but seems quieter than usual. Most of you know that Jack only speaks when he has something important to say. You can imagine how “quiet” must be! Thankfully, he still has no pain. I pray that he will not.

Jonathan arrived safely this morning to spend the weekend with us. A friend of mine who is in real estate picked us up and showed us several properties to buy. There are some very hopeful prospects that are close to Boston and are reasonably priced. Please pray that housing and jobs would be easy for Jonathan and Megan. Jonathan has had some good job opportunities already. I am sure Megan will also when she begins to look. They are busily packing, selling what they do not want to bring with them and trying to mentally make this transition.

Please pray that Megan will be blessed with peace as she experiences the pain of leaving all that she has ever known. I made this kind of transition in 1969. It is not easy. I must admit that my move to New England under the love and care of Jack gave me an opportunity to explore, develop, and mature in ways that I would never imagined if I had never left the South. The Lord certainly provides in so many ways even when we are unaware. It brings to mind the verse from Psalm 117:2 “For His merciful kindness is great toward us; and the truth of the Lord endures forever. Praise you the Lord.”

Jack prayed this evening before dinner that the Lord would prepare our hearts and minds for whatever that He has in store for us. He also prayed that God’s grace would be sufficient for these things as He has promised and that we would experience the peace that passes all understanding.

This experience has its joys, pain, and amazing love. We feel so embraced by the love and care and compassion shown to us by so many. I feel that I will never be able to say thank you enough for the calls, emails, gifts, flowers, cards, meals (especially from Wings at Park St.), genuine care, and legions of prayers being said for us. Yesterday, we received a beautiful card from a Bible study at Cape Cod. We did not know a single person that signed that card. We would like to embrace each one of you. The majesty of this outpouring of the kindness and love is bringing us much joy and awe. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. May the Lord bless each of you abundantly.

Carolyn